❤️‍🩹 Punch didn't hurt as much as the one which broke my heart ❤️‍🩹 KIMCHAY AU

5. Lying

"Porchay." Kim still said he was ready to go away. The boy turned around, sadness written in his eyes but his face trying to brush it out. "When I helped you yesterday...it wasn't...a plan..." He said, facing silence again and the closing of the door.

--

"It wasn't a plan..." Porchay whispered, sitting on his familiar sofa in the middle of the mess that those men left, those men and Kim, the mess inside of him loud. If coming here wasn't a plan, everything else felt like this, every little smile, every little gesture, it felt like manipulation...it was. Kim didn't try to explain more or to defend himself. It was as if nothing particularly precious had been blooming between them. Nothing.

Slowly, he stood up and began to tidy the house. He needed to get back on track, he also needed to keep calm. He had a mission now: finding what was going on in that horrible family. Everything explained looked so complicated and yet simple, if they had let go of their big mafia ego, peace would have been reached. There were so many heads, names, the underground of a problem. What surprised Porchay was the way Kim's eyes grew darker talking about his father. He was described as someone cold, with no emotions, someone working for his own satisfaction, Kim seemed to not love him. It made sense, how to love in those places where guns would be offered instead of flowers out on a date, death walking close to everyone. It didn't make him less sad but Kim's own coldness wasn't that disturbing now. Porchay wasn't more special than anyone else, he was another pawn. Knowing that his Hia was in this world angered him a lot, if he had worked, if he had stopped school he wouldn't have to do this.

Opening the door of his own room, Porchay's hands immediately tightened around the picture of Wik on his wall. He picked up two and tried to cut them in two, they were crumpled but he couldn't do it.

Tears appeared again in his eyes. Wik, Kim, none of them could bring him the soothing feeling he had. None of them and even less Kim could answer to his love song anymore. He was in love, so in love, and it only hit now that he had lost the innocence of his first love, the one which ended in tragedy, the one which was making him wonder if believing other's emotions was a good thing to do.

The boy sobbed a little more, his cheeks dry now. He always thought that they were unlucky. Porsche first, needing to take care of a child, needing to provide for the young boy, needing to be a brother but also the only adult figure in his life. Porchay had a small but still present guilt and he found it normal in the end that his happiness would drift away. After bringing so much trouble, he was getting his own part.

He was unlucky, he was in love, and he felt more alone than he ever had been before.

-

After some days, he still didn't have any news from Kim. It might have been good news. And yet he was often lurking at his phone. He was still working for his university exam but it wasn't as fun as before. Everything was reminding him of Kim. Everything.

Porchay sat outside on the bench, making it move slowly, he hated that emotion of loneliness. He hated it so much. He was completely under his own spell of sadness when the front door opened.

Porsche.

Porsche was here.

And anger just disappeared. He ran into his brother's arms and snuggled tightly against him. He had missed him.

-

"How is work?" Porchay asked, sitting on the counter while Porsche was cooking for them.

"Good...it's really loud in music, alcohol and people, but I am managing well."

Lying, he was lying right to his face. Porchay bit his lips before answering.

"I am glad Hia..."

"And you, tell me...what have you been up to?" He asked, getting closer and caressing his hair and suddenly Porchay felt okay about lying, it didn't matter his Hia was home.