The Reluctant Roadtripper (A Romantic Comedy)

Chapter 29

We sink down into the chairs, pick up our menus. I'm suddenly reminded of our first "date" earlier in the week. How far we've come in just a few days.

How far I've fallen.

I watch him now, over the top of my menu. He's wearing that crisp white shirt he wore the first night of our trip, and I smile to myself as I remember him saying earlier that he'd packed all his best clothes in advance of seeing me again. That's so fucking precious that it makes me love him even more. It's already hard to believe I hadn't seen his face for nearly ten years because it already feels almost as familiar to me again as my own.

I can't let him go; I know this for certain now. I will do whatever it takes to make this work.

"You okay?" He asks, catching me staring. I nod, feeling an embarrassed flush staining my cheeks.

"I'm fine. I'm just trying to work out what to have."

"Might want to keep your eyes on the menu then," he suggests with a knowing wink. I redden further.

I decide on the mackerel pate with sourdough bread, and Owen opts for the haggis spring rolls. Everything tastes fresh and delicious, somehow intensified by the clear air and peacefulness surrounding us. The waiter gives us plenty of privacy, so it feels like it's just the two of us in our own magical little world. Part of me wishes we could just stay like this forever.

It would certainly make life easier.

"Can I ask you something?" Owen says hesitantly, when we're nearly finished our mains - sausage and mash for me, beer battered fish and chips for him. I look up at him questioningly.

"You mentioned something before about your ex - Donnie? - being a bad rebound decision. It's been playing on my mind a bit. Did you . . . end up with him because of my actions?"

"A little bit, I guess," I reply awkwardly. "But who's to say for sure? I was in a bit of a vulnerable place at that point, though, and I probably could have made better decisions."

"But he . . ." Owen takes a deep breath. "He wasn't a good boyfriend, was he?"

"No," I shake my head. "Well, it seemed like he was . . . at first. Maybe he was then. But I think he always had insecurities, and it brought out a dark side of him. He didn't physically hurt me, ever, but he ate away at my confidence over the years. It was . . . A difficult time."

His eyes crease up in a wince. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I'm sorry you went through that. And I'm sorry if I did have any part in pushing you towards him." He sighs. "If I'd known you weren't happy in your relationship, maybe I could have tried harder to find you, to reach out to you. But I thought you'd found someone far better than me; someone you deserved."

"But how were you meant to know?" I point out. "I didn't know myself for a long time! Most of my family and friends didn't know. It's just - it is what it is. It's in the past, where I want to keep it and forget it." I reach over and grab his hands. "And it's not your fault. We really have no way of knowing if things would have worked out between me and you back then, had you came back as planned." I can't help but smile. "We might have even had a shitty first date for all we know."

"Yeah, I might have gotten way too drunk from nerves and fallen into a bush," Owen laughs. "Sorry, that actually did happen to me on a date once." He blushes.

"I was thinking it was an oddly specific example," I snigger. "So . . . Since you brought up exes, and then brought up dates . . . What about you? You've been pretty quiet about your relationship history up until now."