Scar Tissue

six: vindicated

i am selfish, i am wrong
i am right, i swear i'm right
swear i knew it all along
- dashboard confessional, vindicated

I hadn't put much thought into when I was going to see or hear from Noah next, so when he called me the very next day, first thing in the morning, I was a little more than surprised.

"Good morning," Noah chirped into the phone, and I instantly pulled it from my ear, squinting to see the time. Nine-fifteen in the morning was too early to be as energized as he sounded. "Are you doing anything?"

I dropped back down against my pillows and breathed out deeply. "Sleeping."

"Could you be done and ready in fifteen minutes?" Noah asked, prompting me to wonder how the hell this counted as making things up to me. Before I could say anything, he, thankfully, continued, "I'm starving and I figured we could go grab breakfast. If you're up to it, of course."

I paused, mulling his words over for a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. Going out to breakfast with Noah was leading into a territory I wasn't sure I wanted to cross into, but it was also clear he hadn't meant it as anything more than two people casually grabbing food together. He was probably hungry and, as he got ready to go, realized that he could use free breakfast as a way to make things up to me.

When free breakfast was offered - regardless of who was offering it - you accepted. It was practically a rule.

I rolled my shoulders in preparation of what I was about to get myself into. "Sure," I agreed around a yawn. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he replied, making me instantly regret my decision. "I'll be outside yours in fifteen."

Despite the fact that I was just going to get breakfast with Noah, I spent more time getting ready than I cared to admit. My hair was a mix of curls and unmanageable knots, so I threw it up, promising myself that I'd comb through it when I got back home. I grabbed a black tank top and a pair of jeans, deciding that was decent enough attire for impromptu breakfast. Once I had tracked my Vans down from under my bed, I figured this was the best I was going to get without keeping him waiting much longer.

I made my way down the hall quietly, grateful for the fact that both of my parents were still asleep. Neither of them knew exactly what happened between Noah and I, but I wasn't eager to tell them that I was spending time with him. I scribbled a quick note letting them know I was out and would be back soon and put it on the kitchen table.

Noah's car was idling out front of my house when I stepped outside and I made my way towards him, taking slower steps than necessary. I debated turning around, running back inside my house, blocking his number, and forgetting about this whole idea. It would've been easier, but I promised myself that I would see this through, get the closure that I deserved, and I would do that.

"You look really nice," Noah complimented as I got in, shutting the passenger door behind me. I ignored the comment and pulled the belt on as he pulled off. "Sorry for the last minute notice. I just remembered this spot this morning and thought it would be nice."

I reached forward and grabbed his aux cord, plugging my phone in. "This place that you still haven't told me the name of?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you the name," he countered, a coy smile on his face. He turned to me, eyes locking onto mine. "Just trust me, okay? They have something that you're gonna love."

I rolled my eyes and focused on my phone, scrolling through my playlist until I came across a song that I hadn't listened to in years. The summer before college, Noah and I had spent too many nights parked in random places blasting this song so loudly that I was surprised we both still had our hearing intact. Encouraged by old muscle memory, I hit the play button.