Stray kids angst oneshots

suicide

(a.n. y'all: this is going to have a minsung shippp. Sorry not sorry.)

Minho has been having suicidal thoughts ever since he was 13.
He rememberes one evening when the sky was gettibg dark, that he was laying on his bed on his stomach, with his legs swinging behind him.

He had his cheap notebook open and a pen scribbling away, with a smile on his face.

Suicide letter #7
Dear mom and dad. Um sorry. It wasn't ur fault I love you guys so much and I hope you don't miss me too mu

"Minho what are you doing?" His mom was knocking on the door.

"Studying for a test I can't be interrupted." He yelled so that she would hear from the other side of the door.

Minho hated being interrupted and his parents knew that. So she left.

His smile returning to his face, Minho would continue writing various drafts of suicide letters in the notebook.

Over the years the notebook would get more and more full, as Minhos characters and relationships in life would change and he'd have to rewrite it.

Minho would fantasize about all the ways he would do it. There was so many options and easy ways to die!

He would have dreams about the sweet relief of death, and would always get so disappointed when he woke up and would have to live through the day.

Minho didnt want to live. Living was a ton of work and there's so much evil in the world and Minho just wished he hadn't been born at all.

After all, he wouldn't have any pressure or any expectations if he were dead.

So what was holding him back? A particular boy called Han Jisung.

When Minho was with jisung, he didn't think of death at all. He didn't feel deppressed and frustrated that he was alive, he just focused on his love for jisung.

He'd known him for 12 years after all.
When they were 17, they shared a first kiss. Jisung admitted he liked Minho and Minho admitted it back.

Naturally like in all relationships, deep secrets get exposed. And one day Han Jisung found Minhos suicide notebook and came to Minho with his face pale.

"Tf is this?" Jisung shoved the notebook in Minhos arms, demanding an explanation.

Minho smiled, which made jisung more nervous.
"It's my suicide notebook." He answered very matter of factly.

"Don't you fucking dare. I love you so so much I don't know how I would love with myself if you were gone." Jisung felt tears coming to his eyes.

"Ok i won't." Minho said, and really tried to mean it, but deep down he knew that suicide was inevitable.

5 years later and the boys now live with the rest of skz in the dorms.

Minho and Jisungs relationship has been in a rocky patch for the past two months.

Minho wanted to stay in the relationship and Jisung felt it was too risky because they are idols now, and if they figure out that they are gay, or even worse - that the two idols are dating then that would be the end of it all.

So Minho and Jisung were in the midst of several arguments. Jisung felt that Minho was being unrealistic and immature, and Minho felt that Jisung preferred his good name over him.

So the boys haven't been speaking to each other for a month other then during shoots and work and performing.

The tension between them was immaculate and the skz members picked it up and uncomfortably avoided it.