Wrong House

28:Oaklynn

        “It’s nice. It’ll come in handy when it starts to snow.”  I mentally slap myself. Is that kind of implying that we’ll be together or is that a simple statement? I don’t know. Holland makes my mind fuzzy, my heart goes pitter patter, and my lady parts turn into a river. TMI? Maybe, but it’s the truth. 

        Holland puts the car into drive, and starts heading down a street I’ve never been down. “Did you ever think about the question I asked you?” He questions, and I freeze. I did think about it, for the whole game, but I don’t have an answer. 

        Words trip me up, “I- um- n- I thought about it, but I don’t know. We aren’t together, and I don’t know how this conversation is going to end for us.” I explain eventually. Words are hard for me apparently. I hope that it doesn’t bother Holland that I don’t have a straight answer, but I don’t think anyone would. 

        Either I’m delusional from being around Ivy and Levi all the time, or Holland is trying to grovel. And if that is the case, then I feel like the date should already be planned. With him, there is no telling until after you’re in the moment, and that’s something I love about being around him. Another part of me, that part here now, hates it. Because I know if he does have a date planned, and if he says the right things that I’ll have no issue forgiving him. 

        Maybe I should just forgive. I was the one who fucked up.

        “It’s okay, Oak, there’s no hard feelings about it. However, we are going to eat because I am starving, and if I had to bet, you haven’t been eating enough.” He states, matter of factly. Which I can’t argue with because he is right, and that also means that he either knows me really well or Ivy is having trouble keeping her mouth shut. 

        Don’t get me wrong, I do eat. Just enough to not pass out and just enough to survive. But the whole heart break thing is a bitch, and half the time I don’t have an appetite. That’s not unknown to anyone though, they saw how I was when Nana died. I’d barely eat, unless Holland or Mom reminded me to. “Sounds good to me.” I say, coolly. He gives me a nod, and turns up the radio. My phone still connected, playing the playlist I made for us. 

        Don’t judge me. When nights get unbearable, I’ll turn it on, and replay the memories each song holds for us. And there is a lot. From the time we met to the night we broke up. Every memory has a song. 

        Holland turns left on to a deserted road, and then pulls into an even more deserted parking lot. Before we get out, he examines the building, and I do the same. It’s an old warehouse. The roof metal, along with the rest of the building. Rust coats most of the walls, and graffiti covers the two large doors. The place is at least fifty years old, if not older. It’d be a pretty place, if it were up to date. 

        “This is where I would come when I need to let off steam, be alone with our thoughts, any reason I’d need to be alone really. No one knows about this place. I’ve been saving it for special moments, and believe me, this isn’t how I wanted to show you this place,” he lets out a small chuckle, “I planned to bring you here as an official date.” He explains, and I nod. His eyes find mine, and his little smile disappears, “This is the place I want to make a home. It’ll take a lot of renovations, but I think it’d be a pretty home. I think I told you about that.” He says with certainty, and I nod again. 

        He did tell me he had a place he wanted to renovate into a home. He’d leave the original structure, replace the metal, section off different parts of the house, and make a huge front yard. The night we talked about it, I mapped it out for him. The front and back yards, the huge driveway, the garage, and the inside of the house.