To Put On An Act [bxb]

Chapter 13 - desert song

A pleasant view. A comforting sight. Nothing that made him feel sick, or wrong, or strange, just a friend that had spent the evening with him, just someone he could trust, just someone he felt so very safe around. Alex had started to feel a lot like Kaya. Safe. A part of Youngbin's life.

It was a shame that Alex hadn't seemed to have woken up with that same feeling of familiarity.

"I think I'll go home early today. Uhm, it's gonna rain later, I think, so I should probably be home before that." Alex kicked his blanket away, revealing his outfit consisting of a pair of very dad-looking pants along with a strangely, but strangely attractively fitting shirt. On Youngbin, that shirt was quite oversized. On Alex, though- Well, it certainly looked good on him. But what didn't look good on him?

"Well, there's exactly one bus from here to the city centre and it... goes at 11-something, I believe?"

"And what time is it right now?"

Youngbin shrugged as he searched his pockets - his pyjamas didn't have any - for his phone, then cleared his throat. "If I had a clock in my room, I could've told you."

"Guess I can walk home then." Alex rubbed his eyes, and the fact that he had talked about leaving before even agreeing to have breakfast hurt Youngbin a little. "Probably before it starts raining, though."

It wasn't really supposed to rain anytime before noon, and Youngbin could certainly tell that it wasn't noon just yet, and wouldn't be for quite a while. But who knew how long he'd have to walk.

"That's a shame," Youngbin finally said out loud, and Alex froze up for a couple of seconds before something seemed to soften up a little. "I get bored on Saturdays, I quite honestly wouldn't mind if you, you know, kept me company or something?"

How unusual of Youngbin to say this. He wasn't the type for company. Not in his free time, not on weekends, not with anyone that wasn't Kaya. And even Kaya keeping him company, in person, outside of school and on weekdays, wasn't always as relaxing as maybe it should have been. But keeping Alex around today was. Or it would've been.

"Well, I guess I'd love to keep you company, but-" He cleared his throat and Youngbin could tell that something was on his mind, he simply hadn't figured out just yet what it was, and why it was. "I don't know, sorry, I-"

"You don't have to," Youngbin quickly added. "You haven't slept well so it's probably best to recharge at home, I get that, but I'm just saying, if you were to stay for a little longer, I'd be fine with it. I'd be happy." I'd be happy to welcome you here, was what Youngbin wanted to say, but then it stuck like that, with "I'd be happy", because quite frankly, he'd be happy. He was happy. What a crazy damn thing. Youngbin was happy.

He kind of forgot what it was like to feel- well. To be okay at the moment. To have someone around you, to have a friend, to meet a person that was good to one. And then there was a kind of sadness peeking through, not enough to make him feel unwell, but it certainly was flashing through that happiness.

He had missed so much. He had found one friend, years ago, and he stuck to her and nobody else forever. Everyone except her, except Kaya, was an enemy of sorts, a danger, and she was the only one, and then there was Alex. Now Youngbin realised how much joy he could've had if people just liked him a little more, and hated him a little less, and he could've found a couple more friends.

But, really, he didn't even need any more friends, he just needed Kaya and Alex. Maybe Alex' friends. They were kind. He thought of Margo, and of Lani, and maybe even Min, maybe there was some chance that one day they could be Youngbin's friends as well. Maybe. And if there wasn't, it'd be fine, because there were Kaya and Alex, and they were enough. They were more than he had ever expected.