I was so grateful for Colby's gentleness. He always knew what to say and how to really calm me down. He was right.
So many things could have happened but because I put myself on the line they didn't. If I didn't do what I did, who knows where we would be right now.
It scared me knowing I killed so many people and that I was technically at the top now.
I didn't want to be at the top because I had no clue what I was doing. The only reason I killed anyone was because they just wouldn't leave me alone.
All I wanted was a normal life with my family, Colby, and our baby.
Colby led me upstairs and to our room. I felt tears forming in my eyes, loving the feeling of normalcy. We went to get ready for bed then finally laid down together.
"Come here." Colby whispered as he pulled me into him, resting his hands on my belly.
"She's gonna start kicking because she loves you." I said with a laugh, leaning my head back against his chest.
"She's a daddy's girl." He said as I nodded. "Just like her mom." I mumbled. "Jesus, Jules." Colby said with a laugh.
"No! Not like that. I meant...well I meant my dad." I said, my heart shifting as he sighed.
"Ah, Jules." Colby whispered. "Can I talk to you about it?" I asked as he kissed my head. "Always." He said as the baby kicked.
"Um.." I whisper, not knowing how to really start. "You can talk to me, Jules. About anything." Colby said gently as I turned to face him.
"What if you turn on her?" I ask as his face shifted. "Like...she chooses a guy over you and...well... you turn on her." I said as my heart raced.
I've been thinking a lot about this since I found out we were having a daughter.
My dad and I have always been close and I was a daddy's girl growing up. I knew our daughter would be like that with Colby but that made me nervous.
After everything that happened between my dad and I, I was scared for our daughter.
"Julia. I will never do what your parents did to you." Colby said with a serious but gentle tone of voice. "I understand why you're scared but I won't hurt her." He said before anger flashed in his eyes.
I found myself flinching back slightly before they softened. "Sorry. I was just...I was thinking about what he did to you and it pisses me off." He explained.
"I can't imagine being so hateful towards your own child. I haven't even met our girl and I could never imagine doing anything even remotely horrible to her." He said with a sigh.
There was a moment of silence as he put his hand on my belly. He focused on my belly for a moment, pure love in his eyes.
"Juliana White, I promise that I will love our daughter more than anything on the planet. I'll protect her with my entire being and I'll never betray her." He said, breaking the silence, then looking in my eyes.
"I promise." He muttered then held his pinky out. "And I promise to never betray her either. No matter what happens...she's our daughter and we love and care for her." I said then linked my pinky through him.
I felt the emotions swirling as the baby kicked inside of me. It felt like there was a weight being lifted from my shoulders.
It wasn't that I didn't trust Colby. It was that I didn't want history repeating itself.
"You look exhausted, darling. You need to rest." Colby said gently as I nodded. "Incubators gotta rest." I said with a sigh.
"You're much more than an incubator, Jules. You know that." Colby said with a laugh. "Yeah, but it's my main purpose right now." I said and nuzzled into him.
"No. Your main purpose is being a milf." Colby said with a laugh then kissed my head.
"Very cute." I said with a yawn. "I love you, Jules." Colby said and pulled me close. "I love you, too." I said with a smile.
I felt totally content laying in our bed in our house in Texas. The one place we had that was truly our own.
Everything still felt really uneasy because I had no idea what the future held for us but in this moment right now I felt so content with life.
I couldn't wait to really get into normal life again but I feared we would fall back into the pattern or creeping back into the crime world.
Of course there weren't any current threats right now but Colby and I craved the danger even if we didn't care to admit it.
We tried the normalcy but it didn't work out well.
Now it felt like we were going to be okay.
Colby held me in his arms as I dreamed about the life I've always wanted.
I always wanted the kids to be safe and I wanted a family of my own.
Those dreams were only ever just dreams until I fell in love with Colby.
Now he was my everything. We were a team and we would always be by each others side for as long as we lived.
Together we would get through anything.
