Capricorn Christmas

Mom's Cousin's Kid

Jared was forgiven, he was also in a medically induced coma.  "When did this happen?" The inside of my head sounded like the ocean.  Amy was explaining, but the information was only reaching the processing part of my brain in fragments.  "Ok what? Wait.  How do you even know this?" There's only about one degree of separation between everyone in Saskatchewan, but I'd don't know how Jared and Amy were linked in this situation and it seemed important to find out. 

"My mom's cousin's kid lives in the same town as Jared and his family," she waited to see it that sunk in.  "Is that a first cousin once removed or a second cousin?" Amy shook her head confused,  "Why does it matter?"  I think I wanted to focus on anything but the sinking feeling of grief setting in as I thought about Jared lying in a hospital bed for days while I thought about what a jerk he had been for calling me on his birthday, but I kept this to myself.

"I'm surprised you didn't hear it on the news?"
"It was on the news?" Funny my parents always watched the 6:00. "When did it happen?" If I kept talking and asking questions I could keep the tears from coming.  "Must have been late on the 23rd because it was on the news by the 24th."
At this I realized why I hadn't heard anything.  " Ya that's our Christmas, the 24th.  The tv would have been off all day. Did they name him?" "No but Aaron, my mom's cousin's kid, was talking about it at our Christmas."  

Amy looked so apologetic,  "I'm sorry I thought you would have known." A sat in silence for a moment deciding how to respond.  "We've only been hanging around for like three weeks.  I didn't really think anything of it when I hadn't heard from him."  The first part of this statement was true, the second part was a lie.  Amy sat quietly listening.  I could tell she didn't know what to say.  "Ya," she managed to squeak out. 

I thought about driving down to Regina and bursting into his room.  Maybe my voice would pull him out of his coma and the sight of me would give him the strength to recover like in the movies.  But this wasn't the movies, the doctors were keeping him in a coma due to the extent of his injuries and his family who were probably holding vigil at his bedside had no idea who I was and I probably couldn't even get to him.  In the span of a week I'd gone from heartbroken to heartbroken and all I could do was wait.

Amy had made me some mint tea and came back and sat with me in the living room.  "What are you doing back this early?" I actually wasn't expecting anyone until after new years.  "My mom has an appointment, so I'm just here for the day.  I have a few things I need to exchange from Christmas and then we're heading back." I was disappointed she was leaving.  "What are you doing for New Years?" she asked gently as I sipped on my tea. 

Now the tears started to well up in my eyes as I thought about skating at the Bessborough rink like I'd planned with Jared.  "Nothing," I let my arm come up in a half shrug before it slapped down in my lap.  I felt a tear roll down my cheek.  "Do you want to come home with me and my mom?" She waited for me to make a decision, "We're only an hour and a half away."  I thought about it, quickly weighed out some pros and cons.  "Thanks Amy, but I'll be ok."  "You sure?" She did not sound convinced.  "We're heading back at 4:00 so you can change your mind anytime up until then. Ok?" "Okay," I parroted back to her, but I already knew I wasn't going anywhere. 

I waved at Amy and her mom as they pulled away from the house.  I immediately regretted not going with them, but it was too late.  The house was too quiet, so I turned the tv back on just to have some noise in the background.  I restlessly rooted through the cupboards for something to eat.  I needed something that suited my mood.  I don't know what I wanted, but I'd know it when I saw it.  As soon as I opened the cupboard above the stove I saw the red box and knew right away I'd found it.  I pulled the butter out of the fridge and spent the next hour eating two sleeves of buttered salted crackers and watching Jeopardy.