People who think of being alone as freedom are always told that it's a good thing and that when you're alone, at least no one can hurt you. What if we upset ourselves in our loneliness? What if they knew that what really harms ourselves is the thoughts that take over our minds when we are alone? No one commits suicide in crowds. No one cries in crowds. Being alone is a choice in which we do the greatest harm to ourselves while preventing harm from others.
It's the same with loving... Loving alone is one of the harms a person does to himself. However, if we loved each other, how we would bloom, right? But i had faded... I was like a thirsty flower without him. He was my soil, my water, my light. I would bloom with him. If he loved me like I loved him, I wouldn't just bloom, I would make him bloom too. I could love us both very much. I could love us so much that he would be jealous of himself.
No matter what, Yoongi Hyung should have been with me, and I should have been with him. I should have been there for the others in the group. We were in this situation because of my choice to be alone. Had I caused this?
After the messages that came to my phone one after another, I realized that what I did was a mistake. Taehyung probably gave my phone number to others, and everyone was worried about me. They were worried about me when the person who should be worried was Yoongi Hyung. Because me and Yoongi Hyung... We... We were like this... We used to be...
After reading Namjoon Hyung's message telling me to forget everything and come, I looked at the plane ticket in my hand. Why was Namjoon Hyung telling me to forget everything? I didn't understand what he knew and why he said that. It was like he knew what I was going through. Fear took over my body even more. I had to hear Yoongi Hyung's voice urgently.
I received another message from Namjoon Hyung and for the first time I felt like I was wrong in thinking that I knew some things on my own. Something was happening.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I had about four hours until my flight. Since I couldn't stay at home, I arrived early and was wandering around impatiently. For the first time, I felt even more alone in the crowd. I walked away from the areas where international passengers coming from one place to another sleep alone and towards a place where I would be more comfortable.
I kept my eyes on my phone the whole time. The more thoughts flooded my mind, the more I wanted to cry. I was at a moment when I realized what had happened and it was a moment when I wished there was someone with me to support me. I wanted to call Taehyung and get strength from him, but I didn't use my phone because I knew Namjoon Hyung would call me.
I sent a short message to Taehyung and relayed what Namjoon Hyung said.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
