LACUNA | YOONMIN

8

Yoonmin finally met.
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Our Chapter song is important, I listened to it a lot while writing. The songs always remind me of Yoonmin.
Your comments are very important. These chapters are really important to explain yoonmin's strengthening bond. There is nothing more important in life than health.

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*The moon and the sun always chasing , always swooning, always falling for each other day after day endlessly.*

2018, from Jimin's narration

One can forgive heartbreaks, arguments, bad memories. It's easier to do this if it's for the person you love. There are critical moments in everyone's life that change the course of life. There are those rare moments when you have an outsider's perspective on yourself and your surroundings.

I was living that exact moment. A moment when everything bad that happened in the past loses its effect in my life and my mind only wants to do one thing.

Yoongi... My first love, who keeps my heart and mind alive with his presence and kills me with his absence. After reading Taehyung's message, I was crying my heart out to tell Yoongi Hyung the sentence I had repeated to myself thousands of times.

"If something happens to you, then I won't forgive you. I have already forgiven everything else. Come back to me."

I bought a plane ticket without wasting any time. I put as much stuff in my suitcase as I could see through my tears. I didn't stay at home. At that moment, home was nothing but a feeling that was suffocating me and coming towards me.

I called Taehyung many times.
Every time he said he was still in surgery I thought he might actually be waiting for me to arrive. Would he wait? Me?

I realized that many problems in life are only magnified within ourselves and hinder ourselves. However, there was nothing more important than living. We think that we have many problems until we get sick, but after this, our only problem is the disease. When we are sick or face to face with death, when there are moments when we get a little closer to it, we realize that this is the only problem. Other problems lose their value one by one because people realize that they live for their own lives and the lives of their loved ones, and that this is the biggest and most important problem.

I was noticing this clearly. My concern was that Yoongi Hyung was well and healthy. Everything else was minor details. How could I bear it if something happened to him? I regret not going to him before, for running away from him. Did he regret it too? Nothing matters. I want to hug him and thank him for being alive.

I should be the first one to reach him, that's what I was thinking.
Mine should have been the first voice he heard when he woke up after leaving the operating table.

He should have known. He should have known that I was with him, waiting for him. He should have known that my mind, along with his, was under the influence of anaesthesia and that we would both hear our voices and start a new life at the same time.

I felt so helpless, like I had to run forever and catch up with him. I felt like it was even later than it actually was. I'm already late for that. I was late for the feelings I wanted to chase and experience. If he could come to me, I would tell him that I was in love with him. He would come to me. He couldn't come. Could I tell him? I needed him to be okay so much that the breaths I took were not enough for my lungs.