REQUESTS OPEN UNLESS I SPECIFY OTHERWISE!!!! I um uh uh uh had the other book and its gone now so um im a bit sad
Support appreciated in da comments
Bai
River: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures. Eugene: What the fuck? Boss: They’re having an idea.
Eugene: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out River's birthday invitations. Boss: Well, what are they supposed to say? Eugene: "River's birthday". Boss: So, what do they say instead? Eugene: "River’s bi". Boss: Boss: Works out either way.
Boss: Eugene noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. River: This reminds me of the Eugene who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Boss: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Eugene.
Eugene: Adulting is hard. Eugene: How do I quit? River: Time travel. Boss: Die.
*The gang is about to do something dangerous* Eugene: Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk? River: Go ahead. Eugene: Be careful. Eugene: Don’t die. Boss: *Holds back a laugh* River: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.
*Boss teaching River to drive and taking Eugene along for the ride* Boss: That's a pothole. To the left! River: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole* Eugene, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth. River: I don't think that's how the song goes. Boss, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home. River: Country Roads. Eugene: To the place. River and Eugene in unison: I Belong! Boss, crying harder: What the fuck?
Eugene: If you were an ice cream flavour, what flavour would you be? Boss: Vanilla. Boss: Vanilla?! You basic bitch! River: If I was an ice cream flavour, I’d be pistachio! Boss: Because nobody likes you?
River: You don't think I can fight because of my gender! Eugene: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Boss can fight in that dress either. Boss: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.
Boss: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? Eugene: What? No, I— Charlie: *enters room* Boss: *jaw clenches*
Eugene: Why would you give a knife to Charlie?! Boss, shrugging: Charlie felt unsafe. Eugene: Now I feel unsafe! Boss: I’m sorry… Boss: Would you like a knife?
Charlie: Eugene said I was their second favorite person, and I was bummed, but then they said Boss is third. They have no favorite person. They’re holding the position open.
Charlie: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Boss: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Charlie: Oh... Eugene, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.
Eugene: The fastest way to a Charlie’s heart is through ch- Boss: Chest cavity. Eugene: Eugene: Cheese.
Boss: WHO ATE MY BREAD?! Boss: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K- Eugene: I did? Boss: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Eugene. Boss: *walks away* Eugene: Eugene: They're gone Charlie. Charlie, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!
Charlie: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Eugene: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Charlie: Not when you’re playing with Boss, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”
Eugene: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Boss, used to Eugene being dumb: Sure... Eugene: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Boss: Okay? Eugene: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Boss: Eugene: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio- Boss: Jesus, that one is a little- Charlie, interested: No, no, Eugene, keep going.
Boss: I just saw Charlie for the first time in years. Eugene: No way! And…? Boss: I told them I’m an Olympic gymnast. Eugene: Why? Boss: Well, you know when you get nervous socially, you end up lying to impress? Eugene: No. Boss: Exactly, we’ve all done it.
Boss: Oh Eugene, we have a visitor! Eugene: Don't tell me it's Charlie. Boss: It's Charlie.
Charlie: What’s it like being tall? Charlie: Is it nice? Charlie: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Boss: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Eugene: It was one time!
Boss: I have a bad feeling about this... Charlie: What do you mean? Boss: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble? Charlie: No? Eugene: That actually explains so much.
Eugene: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. River: River: I'm gonna tell them. Boss: Don't you dare.
That last one-
WHO WANTS TO TALK ABT DEATH W ME?
AnYw@y, HAPPY DIWALI!
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