SPILL THE COFFEE | jeongsung ✔️

YOU CAN STAY

   Perhaps, never to be seen again.

★

   Walking down the second to empty streets, Seungmin let the tears strain his face, raining down his skin just like the water from the sky—that slowly resolved into thin nothings, yet again painting the town a muddy brown. The dirt stuck to the brunette's shoes, leaving the once white colour behind to show off the newfound, loving, death brown.

   Absolutely drained, he continued in his steps, feeling too sleepy to even do anything yet he pushed through. Because really, staying outside wasn't an option, with this freezing temperature—that was most likely going to cool down even more—Seungmin was more or less forced to go to someone, for help.

   The brunette hated being helpless, and having to rely on others. His parents had taught him all too well that he shouldn't put his trust in anyone, yet Seungmin knew exactly where to go. He knew exactly who he should call, who would hold him close, tell him it was gonna be okay.

   There was just one thing he didn't consider, the possibility of that specific person not having time for him.

   Seungmin stared at the adult behind his freckled friend, what was Hyunjin doing here? With him? With his boy, his lover? Perhaps the brunette had forgotten that Felix was never his, to begin with, heck Felix didn't belong to anyone. . . There was just this tiny little thought in his head, that kept telling him to go after the boy.

   Yet it was more clear than ever now, Seungmin had lost him—his best friend and first-ever love—he lost him for good. It was all over now.

   The boy stared and stared, not a single word able to leave his mouth as the blond kept rambling on and on, clearly worried. But Seungmin knew, no matter how worried the older was about him and as much as he cared, he would never look at him the same again.

   Because as the boy turned around, to look at Hyunjin, his face held the most emotion Seungmin had ever seen. The way his eyes sparkled and lips twitched into a smile ripped the brunette's heart apart.

   "Minnie?" Felix had long turned around again and started talking, rambling on and on, "Why are you crying?" He asked the third time that minute and finally, he received an answer—or at least something close to it.

   Holding his breath, Felix let Seungmin spill his worries. "I just- my father- he- he k-kicked me out," The boy choked out, his heart pounding against his chest with all of its million broken pieces.

   The freckled boy's heart ached at the sight, "You can stay, Min." Yet Seungmin did nothing but shake his head. "C'mon, get in already."

   Not letting the older get a word in again, the brunette looked up from the ground—not hiding his tears any longer—and looked his friend in the eye. Or perhaps, it was his old friend. "I'm sorry, Lix," He whispered, before slowly stepping backwards onto the cold streets again, shoes tapping against the floor.

   And finally, he turned around and sprinted away. Not looking back for a second, even as he heard the voice of his lover ring after him.

   He ran and ran, not stopping for what felt like forever. Not stopping 'till he felt his body give up, 'till he collapsed onto the ground—in a neighbourhood he did not recognise; an alley he didn't know and a way too fast heartbeat, that he felt against his skin.

   Seungmin cried and cried. He let all his trouble and worries escape through his eyes, as the world left him feeling cold and empty.

   Maybe, just maybe, the world didn't have a plan for him. And surely, if it did, it wasn't any good.

★

   Changbin wiped the sweat off his forehead as he walked out of the gym, bag on his shoulder and water bottle in hand. It was almost December, yet he felt hot as he walked through the small alley, downing the liquid in his almost empty bottle to the last drop.

   He almost felt disappointed as nothing cooled off his throat any longer and let a loud sigh escape his lips, he truly was exhausted but it was no wonder, after a couple of hours of working out.

   Yet somehow, he learned to love the pain in his muscles. He believed it was the best type of pain one could feel. Stumbling his way through the not-so-well-lit alley, he took a hold of his phone and turned on his flashlight—getting startled as he suddenly saw a figure not too far in front of him.

   There, leaning on one of the brick houses, was what seemed to be a boy around his age, maybe a bit younger, sitting down and crying his heart out. Changbin didn't know how to react, he felt sorry for the boy and wanted to help him, but how was he meant to do that?

   He knew his appearance could be quite scary, as he spent all these hours working out and building up his body. He didn't want to scare the poor boy, because he could tell, whatever pain he was in, it was not the type of pain to enjoy.

   Lowering his phone, so as to not blind the boy, the ravenette approached carefully. His steps were slow and steady—compared to the sloppy ones he took before noticing the seemingly broken-down boy.

   "Hey-" He began, the boy immediately shot his head upwards and looked around franticly, "Are you o-" Changbin couldn't finish his sentence. The boy had already scrambled up from his place on the ground and run off with the most stumbled of sprint the raven had ever seen.

   Not even his friends could compare to it, even when they were drunk, and god knows Chan is a lightweight. Changbin didn't try to call after the boy, he knew all too well that he shouldn't try to disturb him more. Sometimes, all you need is a bit of alone time and lots of crying, to feel better.

   The adult could only hope, that that was what the other needed.

★

   Seungmin had again found his way back to running, running without a break. Somehow, everything about this day, this week, this life, was miserable.

   He couldn't keep going like this, he needed a relief, a break, or maybe. . . a full stop.

   The brunette stopped dead in his tracks as he realised what was going on, he wasn't seriously thinking about ending his life, was he? After everything he has pushed through and managed throughout his almost twenty years of living, a simple heartbreak couldn't be the end of it, surely.

   Yet Seungmin knew he was indeed thinking about killing himself, to just end it as a way of winning this seemingly unwinnable life. To just, be able to feel something aside of anger, sadness and guilt.

   Would he finally be happy, if he wasn't here anymore?

   Seungmin didn't believe in the afterlife, it was something he wasn't able to catch. Yet, what if, there really was one? What if he would be reborn and live the best life he could ever have wished for? For him, it was worth the risk.

a/n: i'm sorry for this, epics, but i just went with the flow and then this happened.

stay safe and epic everyone, next chap will be the last <3