ONESHOT: Jack is getting a lot of hate, but john isn't there to comfort him
Jack is home all alone and without John here to distract him from the hateful outside world, he finds that he can't get off social media. It's like every mean tweet he reads causes him physical pain. His heart just feels heavy, and hurt.
Some of the things people are saying...
It's just too cruel. If John was here, he would take the phone from Jack's hand and force him to stop reading, but he isn't and Jack doesn't have enough self-control to even exit twitter. He feels like he needs to read more and see how the public actually feel about him.
He's ruined his career beyond repair. It's a hard pill to swallow but it's true. Villa fans hate him, City fans hate him, Leicester fans hate him and so does everybody else. For every 1 kind tweet about him, there's 100 mean ones. Most of them are just mocking him for losing and praying that the rest of his time at City is like today, full of loss and failure. Others are actually pointing out his faults, like this one person who made a list of every single mistake he made the whole match. Even though he didn't play that long, he made 20 mistakes. Imagine if he'd played the full match; how many mistakes would he have made. Thinking about it makes his head spin and his heart ache.
He wants, no he needs, a hug or a kiss from John to make it all better. Perhaps this is a sign he's gotten too attached, after all, he can't crumble whenever John isn't there to hold him together. Surely, it's unhealthy to be this emotionally dependent on your partner, he wonders. He takes a deep breath to calm his raging heart. Jack's eyes are lined with so many tears, he can't even read anymore. He finally exits the twitter app, hands shaking, and eyes burning.
He wants John. He needs him.
Jack needs company. He can't bear to be alone anymore, he needs someone to take away the suffocating feeling in his chest. He opens up his, James' and Ben's group chat.
Can we talk?
He isn't expecting an instant reply but after 5 minutes with no responses, all hope leaves his body. Thinking about it now, what was he thinking? James is probably celebrating, after all he won today, unlike Jack, and it only makes sense that Ben, his boyfriend, would be celebrating with him. He figures he could text John, but it wouldn't be the same as having him here.
He hasn't felt so alone in years.
He turns his attention to the television. He doesn't know what exactly is on but it'll have to do. It's a medical drama, one of the ones that explores the lives of doctors and nurses and the different types of patients they encounter. It's actually pretty good and, despite the fact he is constantly checking his phone for messages from his friends (he doesn't get any), he finds it easy to follow the plot. It serves as a great distraction and by the end of the episode, he finds that he can breathe a little easier. He finds that the name of the show is 'Chicago Med' and promptly goes to look for more episodes.
Before he starts watching, his phone buzzes. Jack's heart soars and his over-eager hands grab his phone before he can even process what he's doing. Finally, someone to talk to.
1% remaining.
When Jack sees that as the notification, instead of a reply from James or Ben, his shoulders deflate. A lump forms in his throat and his eyes spill over with tears.
He's just so tired. He can't take it anymore. He just wants John so badly it makes him cry even more. He feels like a needy little baby but he can't help it.
If John was here he would tell Jack how he loves him; he would pepper him with kisses; he would make him laugh, make him smile. If John was here, he would make it all stop hurting.
