LACUNA | YOONMIN

6

I was so excited at that moment that I hit my knee on the table leg in panic.

"Jimin?"

My brother laughed.

''Yes Jimin, why are you so surprised? I wondered what he was doing. Aren't you together every day?''

He was eating his food calmly. I didn't understand what was happening to me and my jaw never stopped.

''Jimin... He's fine, I guess. He finished his fourth semester. He's a very hard worker. You already know. He was upset that I was going to Italy, but he seems to be calmer lately. He's growing. Who would have thought that Jimin, with whom I played football on the streets and who had tiny hands, would grow up to be an adult. Recently, Jimin and my mom made my favorite cookies. You know our mother loves Jimin very much. Jimin dyed his hair blonde, our mother praised him so much that I was jealous for a moment. He even wanted you to come to Seoul and talked about how much he missed you. I guess you promised him to drink Soju, he didn't forget. Jimin is really growing up and becoming a very beautiful man. He was already beautiful. So my point wasn't that he was less beautiful before. He now reflects his own style. I think the interior design is perfect for him, I didn't understand why he chose this at first, but the more I think about the how thoughtful person he is and how much he pays attention to details, I think this is a profession perfect for Jimin. Some of our classes have the same professors, so I heard them speak very well of Jimin a few times. It's a proud feeling. Oh I almost forgot, Jimin said he wanted to drink again one day and he was already slightly drunk, he forgot his shoes on the beach and I had to carry him to my apartment in my arms. If I hadn't done this, his feet might have gotten dirty. Sometimes he doesn't listen to me and acts like a little child. And--''

''Yoongi''

''Ha!''

"Do you want to take a breath once in a while?"

''Ha?''

"I'm saying if you keep talking about Jimin any more, you'll pass out from lack of oxygen. Shut your fucking mouth and go tell Jimin how much you love him, you idiot."

''Ha!''

''Ha indeed! You couldn't really think I wouldn't understand this, could you?''

I could not answer. I slumped my shoulders and sank into my own darkness.

''I understand everything, but I can't understand why you left suddenly. You're the one who wanted this, but you're upset as if we're forcing you away. Does this have anything to do with Jimin?"

I closed my eyes tightly.

''Fuck!''

''Fuck indeed! The reason is Jimin, right? I can't believe you Yoongi! I really can't believe you!''

Geum-Jae looked into my eyes with sadness. I didn't have the patience to make long sentences and explain this situation.

"Don't look at me like that, Hyung. These feelings are not mutual. Jimin doesn't know about it."

He waved his hands in protest. He seemed unable to accept it.

''Are you leaving to cause yourself more pain? You know you can get a job at the best companies in Korea. You know that I will even provide you with financial support and that you can establish your own architectural office if you wish. I offer you all the possibilities. Please don't go. I think this is not the solution. Trust your Hyung, Yoongi. This is not the solution."

While I was distracted by the message on my phone, I took this opportunity to close the subject.

''It wasn't easy to make this decision. If I made this decision, it means I took the risk of a lot, right? Please try to understand me. I can't breathe anymore, I can't sleep at night, Hyung. ''