i love you, but.. // lierra

27

"Of course I still want your dumb ass." she whispers, hugging him. "I knew you'd do this, you know." she looks up tiredly.

"You knew?"

"Yeah, you always do that. Like when you almost didn't send your documents to uni to enter, or when you didn't believe when I said I was in love with you," he closes his eyes, going down memory lane to that day, "or when you don't reply to emails about approval of your resumes. I wasn't surprised you got scared, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt me."

"I'm really sorry, I-"

"I wish you understood how hard it is for me."

"I understand."

"No, you don't." she takes a step back from him, not dropping his hands, as he frowns at her. "I know it's hard for you too. Unbearable even. But it's a different kind of hard for the both of us. And we'll never understand each other's side." she shrugs. "That's just the way it is. I wish it was different."

"You wish I was different." he nods at her. He doesn't mean to blame her for thinking it in any way; he's just stating a fact.

"No, I-" she tries to shake her head, but he comes closer, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"I know you're thinking it, don't be scared to say it out loud." he says quieter. "It's okay, I'm thinking it too." she doesn't reply to him, just stares him in the eyes. He wants to kiss her, more than anything right now, just to feel her soft lips on his, to make his mind quiet again like the first time they kissed, to make him believe they're alright. To make him believe she's alright, with him and with their relationship. Her eyes are silently begging him to say at least anything. "There's something about you that makes me think you're a living angel." he whispers instead as she scoffs, hiding a smile. "Your existence gives me hope." she wants to say something, but he continues, "You're so empathetic and you're so kind, and your soul is so amazingly beautiful."

"Stop." she smiles at him with her cheeks bright red. She knows how much he loves her, but she's not used to hearing him explain it.

He doesn't smile back. Instead, he runs his hands along her arms, stopping when he reaches her fingers. "No, I need you to understand- I will always choose you, Sierra. Calum or you? You. Cory or you? You. Me or you? You. Always."

"That's not healthy." Look who's talking. Sierra puts him first in almost everything, always. Calum was right—they're equally obsessed with each other.

"Maybe, but it's always been like this." he shrugs, now showing her his smile. "You're the most genuine person I know, and I will always genuinely love you, platonically or romantically."

She stares at him and watches him move his eyes to her lips as he grabs her face to kiss her. She doesn't even have the time to say her 'I love you' back. This kiss feels different from the first second their lips touch. It might be because they haven't seen each other for most of the week, or it might be because of how needily their lips move. Like Luke and Sierra don't need any breaks to breathe, like kissing each other is breathing. Her hands move from his chest to his broad shoulders, pulling him closer. She gets on her tip-toes to get a better angle to kiss him when his hands let go of her face and lift her up, making her legs lock around his waist as she squeaks out of surprise. Their lips part for a second when he asks,

"Are we gonna..?"

"If you want to." she breathes out while thinking about how easily he picked her up and what else he can do to her body with such ease.

"I do, yes." he nods, matching her deep breathing. Now he doesn't restrain himself from looking at her shirt and her body beneath it.

"You sure?" she tilts her head to the side, trying to ignore how good it feels to have his arms under her thighs, supporting her body. "I don't- I don't expect anything from you. I'm more than okay with just being here with you."