01. sneaking out 🏃🏾‍♀️

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evangeline cromwell

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evangeline cromwell

I was about to make the worst mistake of my life but I couldn't care less.

If me wanting to go outside meant I should be punished, I knew it was worth it.

Since my sister died. Sorry, since my sister killed herself, I am not allowed to go outside, use a phone or watch TV. I can only read books that have nothing to do with the real world.

I can't go to school. My parents homeschooled me. And they are smart but they can't fill every subject like a real teacher would do. They didn't think about my future. What can I do without a degree? Nothing that would assure me a good life.

They don't even let me go to college. So my life is basically over after I 'finish' high school. My parents don't want me to find a husband, or to have kids or to be happy just because they lost a daughter.

They only let me see Andrew, who is our neighbour. We were in kindergarten together. And my parents liked him so they let me talk to him once a week. He comes to our home for an hour, talks to me in the living room so he can't say something about the outside world to me and then leaves. It was nice but I needed more.

So I did what I remember from the movies I watched when I was little. Put some pillows under the quilt to make it look like I am there and sneak out of the window.

I got the first part done. Now for the sneaking part, I was lucky that my home wasn't a two-story house so it was easy. I wouldn't be able to injure myself.

I put a foot outside and it almost touched the ground. I put the other and let my body go down and my bare feet touch the grass.

My parents didn't buy me shoes because it wasn't like I had somewhere to go. I had socks and house slippers but they would get dirty and my parents would notice. So I went barefoot.

The grass tickled my feet as I was walking towards the exit of my house.

My heart was beating so fast and loud that I was afraid my parents would hear me from the house and drag me into the house. I looked behind me every five seconds to see if someone was after me.

I was anxious and felt like someone was behind me. My back tickled with every step I took.

And when I was out of my house, all the protection I felt was gone and I wanted to go back. But I stopped myself.

You have to go out!

I clenched my fits next to my body and walked fast, looking behind me. I wasn't afraid my parents would find me. I was afraid someone worse would.

I took a breath of air and calmed myself.

Nobody would hurt you. Nobody would hurt you. Nobody would hurt you.

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