You & I・❥・(Graham Coxon)

Tomorrow・❥・

"go on. tell me. what is it?" he lightly rubs my back. 

i take a deep breath, "erm- you know when someone doesn't eat? and avoids eating at all costs, eating issues, yeah? i know someone who struggles with that stuff. i just- i just need help with that. i need someone to point me in the right direction or something! i- do you know any source or anything that i can get information from, regarding eating issues?" i spit it out all at once which probably surprises damon a bit. he definately didn't expect this topic to come up. it must've been out of the blue for him.

after a short pause he replies, "i'm sorry gra i don't know anything about that but i reckon you could get a book which has information about that." 

"good idea! that didn't come to mind! dames you've helped me so much without even realising i-"

i get spoken over by him, "who is struggling with all that? is it you?" he asks with sincerity sparkling in his eyes.

"no-, a friend." i look down.

he replies almost immediately with suspicion, "is it violet?"

"the book shop which we passed on the way here, that must have the book i need, right?"

"probably. check it." damon states. i have successfully avoided the violet question. 

"things will get better, gra. " he assures me and i give him a weak smile in response. he barely knows what's going on in my life and i don't know anything about his life either. that's very unlike us, we used to share everything as best friends but we seem to be growing apart.

tho, the chat we had today made me realise that we are still the same. damon is still damon and i am myself.

damon gets distracted, "our landlord is here! " he looks in the distance.

"landlord?" i am puzzled.

"yeah me and my new flatmate, we have bought our house from that bloke- he's a movie producer and yeah we have already bought the house so he's not our landlord but we've grown a habit of calling him that. " damon explains.

a spark happens in my brain and i turn to damon, "i need to talk to him, damon!!"

-

the concert goes over by a whoosh. i play the guitar, i do my part but i'm not free of the thoughts of violet circling my mind. damon is giving me looks of assurance on stage, he's being himself again or i guess we both are mates again. i mean we always were but today feels different in a good way. 

i manage to get the number of the landlord movie producer and dash to the book shop. it is near closing time. whatever i do, i have to do it fast. 

i go over to many shelves till i find the one of use. i grab a handful of books related to eating issues and pay for them at the counter since it's 5 minutes away from closing time. i don't know what damon, dave or alex are doing right now. we are suppose to leave for another city tomorrow so we are stuck here for tonight.

i sit myself down on the pavement right outside the shop. i feel a cold shiver run down my spine in sync with the bloke, running the book shop closing the shutter. i guzzle down some booze as it helps me fight the cold. 

with shaking hands, i hastily flip thru the pages of different books, trying to obtain as much information i can in very little time. it feels like i have an exam and i am rushing over the whole book 5 minutes before it. i don't know why i am so fast and shake-y. i am just worried about violet i guess, i want answers.

and i do get answers. i find out that violet has an eating disorder and it's most likely anorexia. she ticks the symptoms and signs of it. i read further and discover that she might have bulimia too? i remember that day she went to the bathroom right after eating and according to this book, it might be because she made herself sick to get rid of the calories.

that's awful. i close the book and take a breath to realise the weight of this situation.

i force myself to read thru it again. eating disorders causes forgetfullness, low body temprature and mood swings. i read ahead. i also find that violet uses cigarettes as a way to repress her appetite. coffee also acts as a represser. 

i knew it. i caught onto her smoking habit early, it surfaced out of nowhere. one day she was not smoking and one day, she just was. but why is she doing this to herself? what is causing this? why? what is happening? i still have these questions unanswered. 

maybe it's in the book and i don't understand it. 

i stand up and immediately catch a bus back to london, i have to go talk to violet about this right now. i just have to. i also have to magically be back in time at our concert venue tomorrow. i rest my head against the glass window of the bus, i will reach violet tomorrow morning. it will take about 5 hours and i don't know what will happen once i get there.

the uncertainty is scary. nobody knows what tomorrow holds.

-

(A/n): Dont worry i have not abandoned this book, i am still at it. i will update as much as possible!!! i will be more consistent xx (in fact im thinking of doing two chapters today, i might!! so watch out for that!!)

anyways, dont forget to leave a vote on this, it helps me out!!!