Understanding A Killer

My fault

Sirens echoed through the once peaceful yard of a now destroyed family. The medics wheeled in Abigail Hobbs and Hannibal joined for the ride to the hospital.

Will stood at the side, watching all of it happen absently.

"Will!" - Jack called out.

Will was unresponsive.

"Will!"

"Ah, yes?" - He finally responded as he awoke from the haze.

"What the hell happened out there? Should I be worried about you?" - Jack asked, analyzing Will's frowned face.

"I, um... Just killed the Minnesota Shrike."

"As I can see. Now... go home. Rest. We will discuss the details tomorrow." - He instructed. "Miss Holt, can you drive him home?"

"Yes, Sir. I will get him home safely." - Eliana promised.

"Go, Will." - Jack had to instruct again as Will continued to stare in the distance.

They walked to the car without saying a word. Eliana sat in the driver's seat and looked over to Will's still bloodied hands. "Do you want to... wipe your hands?" - She took out a tissue from her pocket. Will didn't respond, but instead just reached out his hand to take the tissue.

"Take me to the hospital." - He mouthed quietly.

"You want to see Abigails Hobbs?"

"Yes."

"Mr. Graham... I promised I would take you home. It's important to me that you are well, and I worry about you. Just please, listen to Jack for once." - Eliana pleaded.

"I-I have to see Abigail." - Will's voice shook.

"Then... I will take you to her. But first, go home and change. You're covered in blood."

"Right. Maybe I should." - He agreed, looking down at his stained clothes.

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They sat in complete silence for the whole ride, but it spoke louder than any words. You could cut the tension with a knife, and none of them wanted to adress the evident issue of 'What the hell just happened'. Eliana felt guilt building up while Will questioned his lack of guilt.

Will lived in a desolated place, basically in the middle of nowhere. It was peaceful but lonely, fitting his personality very well.

Eliana stopped the car with a short: "I'll wait for you in the car", not expecting a reply.

"You're covered in blood too. Come inside." - Will invited unexpectedly.

"No. I'll just wait." - She refused.

Will could see there was something bothering her, but chose to ignore it and go inside for now. After showering and changing, he got back to the car, only to be greeted with the same non responsive Eliana. The longer they avoided talking, the harder it will become, so he decided to end the silent treatment.

"Is there... something you want to tell me?"

Eliana glanced over, debating whether she should tell the truth. "You just... Killed someone." - She responded in a quiet voice.

"I did. I killed a killer."

"So now you've become a killer."

"Evidently, I did." - He said with a long exhale.

"And, how do you feel about that, Mr. Graham? I can't stop thinking about the look on your face while you did it." - Eliana spoke as tears formed in her eyes.

"I feel... Like I did the world a favour. Hobbs needed to be stopped."

"You don't feel... Guilt? Not at all?"

"As for now, I can't say that I do." - Will admitted, realizing the weight of his own words.

"Mr. Graham, you did something you can never take back... I-it will always stay with you." - Eliana was now at the verge of crying, her voice filled with intense emotion.

"Do you... Worry that much for my wellbeing?" - Will scanned her face, taken aback by the pressure of someone's concern.

"You don't understand... I should've been the one that killed Hobbs!" - She cried. "I was the one that made you a killer! It was... My fault."

Will was now completely shocked, not understanding where these intense words came from: "Please, stop, Eliana. Why would it be your fault?"

"...I had the perfect shot before you did! I could've shot him straight in the head. But I-... I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. I don't know why. I made you a killer and hurt Abigail in the process. I could've killed him. I should have." - She covered her face, not being able to look at Will, now almost sobbing.

He sat in silence for a while as Eliana's sobs exhoed through his ears. He just found out a very important aspect for the profile he made in his head. He removed her hands from her face with a soft touch.

"You couldn't do it... Because you felt sorry for Hobbs. You are soft. Your soul can't ignore another person's pain."

"I-... I can't be feeling sorry for a serial killer. If that's true, there must be something deeply wrong with me. I should've felt sorry for Abigail."

"I don't think compassion is wrong. You're inexperienced. You were unprepared. Hobbs was my responsibility." - He spoke softly. "And... I am glad you didn't become a killer."

"If Abigail died... I would be a killer."

"No... You hesitated for a split second. That doesn't make you a killer. If we looked at ourselves like that, we'd all be ready to burn in hell. Just learn from your mistakes."

Eliana calmed down a little, finally being to look at Will: "Thank you, Mr. Graham. I will do better next time."

"I believe you will." - Will responded, hoping he was wrong. He never wanted this girl's innocence to fade. In her eyes, he saw goodness he no longer felt in himself. A goodness that he wanted back so badly.

"Just please... never become something that you are not. I wouldn't be able to carry that burden." - Eliana said, almost sensing the irreversable damage.

"I won't."

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That night, Eliana dreamt of a box being delivered at her doorstep. It was wrapped in a flowery paper with a pink ribbon tied around. Who could've sent me such a beautiful gift? She opened it joyfully, expecting a beautiful surprise. Instead, it was a girl's head. Abigail Hobbs's head.

She awoke with a scream inside her dark dorm. It's been a long time since she last had such a vivid nightmare. And again, she was reminded of why she followed this case. But, will she be able to follow through with her plan?

She couldn't even trust herself anymore. Right now, she was nothing more than a coward who wouldn't be able to bring her friend justice.