Memories - Purinz

Chapter 8 - It's Final

She doesn't want to do it. But what other choice does she have? If she stays any longer she's sure she's going to break, she's sure she'll lose control and destroy everything.

She isn't okay, she feels like shit.

Yunjin thinks she's a ticking time bomb and the only way she can save everyone from getting hurt is to leave them and keep them as far away from her as possible.

Get a divorce.

Don't drag Chaewon down with you.

She deserves better.

She doesn't realize she's crying until she sees wet circles on the papers.

"Fuck," she whispers, wiping her eyes harshly.

She has to do this.

Yunjin takes in a breath and moves her gaze to the city outside the cab window.

She imagines she's twenty, sleeping soundly with Chaewon's arms wrapped around her.

--

She arrives at their apartment, knees shaking and heart pounding as she walks to their unit. She takes a breath before opening the door.

All the lights are off save for the lights from the city outside their window. Chaewon loved drawing the back of the curtains to watch the view and drink wine together — somehow that knowledge makes her chest tighten even more.

Yunjin spots her on the couch, wearing Yunjin's Sailor Moon printed shirt and gray sweatpants. There's a half empty glass of wine and a plate of cheese on the table but she has her eyes glued to her phone. Chaewon looks like she's been enjoying a night inside, completely unaware of what shit storm Yunjin is about to drop on her.

"Chaewon," she begins, voice quiet.

Chaewon turns to her, smiling softly. "Jen! Where were you? I'm sorry I turned all the lights off, I was in the mood to watch the cityscape." Chaewon places her phone on the table and continues talking. "Also I think we got robbed, some of your stuff isn't here, mostly your clothes. Although I have a nagging suspicion that you gave them away to buy new ones."

Chaewon giggles, waiting for Yunjin to laugh along but Yunjin doesn't speak.

I can't do this.

Yunjin's extended silence causes Chaewon's giggle to die down. "Alright, I'm sorry. I should sound more worried about a break-in."

Still no answer.

Yunjin's tongue lays heavy inside her mouth, it tastes like rust and dread.

Chaewon looks at her, worry filling in the creases of her forehead. "Yunjin? What's wrong?"

I can't break her heart.

Yunjin stares and watches as Chaewon's eyebrows furrow with concern, she's unable to find it in her to tell her.

I have to do this.

Chaewon deserves someone better.

Yunjin thinks of how hurt Chaewon looks every time they fight, every time Yunjin pushes her away. Yunjin thinks of how she hates that she's destroying her and breaking her heart every single day.

"Yun—"

I have to do this.

"I want a divorce." Yunjin finally forces out of her mouth.

Their world ends the same way it began six years ago — everything disappearing and it's just the two of them.

Yunjin can feel her chest tightening every second she spends watching Chaewon's expression jump from shock to confusion.