Terrified of Love

Chapter 5

"You do?" I ask

"Yeah" She says

"So, you're not a bazillionaire?" I ask

"Not yet" She says

I sit on the desk and place my feet on the chair, "My brother has autism, so I'm, like...constantly looking out for him" I say
"I didn't know that" She says

"Dude, how would you know that? You, like, barely talk to me" I say

She laughs, "I talk to you. I just say mean things" She says causing us to both laugh

"You know, you're are not what I expected" I say
"Well, I'm not like the other girls. I don't get to mess up" She laughs, "last year Penelope drove her car into a tree and guess what happened to her? Her parents bought her a new car. And Quinn has vodka in her locker just in case she gets bored" She says

"Really?" I ask
"Yep" We chuckle, "And I think, a bikini, for some reason" We both chuckle, "But for me...this school, what I do here, it matters. I feel like I have to be perfect, all the time, and it's exhausting" She says and looks at me

"Is that why you were such a dick to me?" I ask

She shrugs her shoulders, "Probably. Or I might just be a dick" She says which causes us to both chuckle

I'm laying on the couch now as we continue talking, "I read about this guy in Vermont. I think it was Vermont. And he runs a hundred miles at a time. Like, he will literally walk out of his house and go on a hundred mile run" I tell her

"Dude, get a job" She says and chuckles

"Actually, when I read it, I thought it was great. That kind of freedom. But now...I don't know" I say
"What do you mean?" She asks

"I mean...like, I think it was dumb to think that I could ever leave here. Sam and my dad, they...they need me. I used to want to get as far away from this place as possible, but now...I'm not really sure that I ever will" I say as I look at her

"Screw that" She stands up, "I'll be right back" She says and walks out

I grab my phone out and text Jeremy, I'm in detention. Will try to get there when I can.

Izzie walks back in and shuts the door, "I'm tired of trying to be perfect all the time. How about, for once, we stop caring about everyone else?" She pulls out the bottle of vodka, "I raided Quinn's locker" She says causing us both to laugh

I'm using a mug to drink while Izzie is drinking out of the bottle, "She hasn't always been terrible. I mean, when I was younger she was really together and fun. Then my dad left and she had an injury at work and started taking painkillers and just spiraled from there. Sucks. Anyway it's like my life's goal to be nothing like her" Izzie explains

"Oh, my god, dude, me too. Cheers" I say and we clink glasses

"Yeah" We drink and I grimace, "To be honest, I think half the reason why I spend so much time with Nate is because...I don't want to go home" She says
"Not because he's your boyfriend and you love him very much?" I ask

"No, Nate's awesome. But...sometimes it just feels not quite right with him like he's from a different planet and won't ever know what it's like on my planet. You ever feel that way with Jeremy?" She asks

"No—No, not really" I say and chuckle

"Lucky, ho. Jeez" Izzie says and we both laugh

[Jeremy's House]

I walk into his room, my hair all messy, eating a cake, to see him playing video games, "Cam, hey. You're here" He says

"Abigail let me in. She was—She was baking a cake cause she hit...Sam with he car, so I grabbed a little handful of it and..." I lick my finger, "...here we are" I chuckle, "She seems upset, though. She didn't even want to dance with me" I say

"Are you drunk?" He asks

"No, no, no, no, no, no. No. Are you drunk?" I ask

"No, I'm not" He says

"You're drunk" I say

"Cam, I've never seen you drink before, this isn't like you" He says

"So what, man? Maybe it's fine if you just don't want to be perfect for one second" I say
"You already got a detention, you could get kicked out of school" He says

I take my shoe off and toss it, "Hey, guess what?" I ask

"What?" He asks

"I'm ready to have sex again" I say

"No" He says

"Why are you being so weird? Come on! Don't you want to do it?" I ask as he stands up

"I'm trying to be the good guy here" He says

"Come here" We sit on the bed, "This is going to be really...special. I'm looking you right in the eyes. I'm telling you..." I say

"No, you're not looking at me. You're looking in the mirror" He says laughing

"You're pretty" I say

"Well, yes. She is pretty" He stands up, "Okay, I'm gonna go get you some water" He says and walks out

[Next Morning]

I wake up in a unfamiliar bed by an noise, "Ughh!" I look to see Christopher, "Great! Now there's two of you" He says

"Mom?" I call out

I sit up as I groan, "Oh, good" She sighs, "You're up" She hands me Advil and water, "We have a to to talk about, young lady" She says as I take the medication