Dear Diary

23rd October, 2023

Dear Diary.

I remember at the beginning of September, a big fast black spider got in my room. 

Me telling you in afraid of spiders would have been an understatement back then. 

I remember it was right above my head, and I only discovered it because I was in my phone early in the morning before my morning job. My dad tried to get it but it went down the drawers and he lost it. My room is almost like a large cupboard. I remember feeling so claustrophobic, and I saw it again the next day at about 1am.

 I had spent the night just a few hours ago shaking and crying, and my skin was crawling. 

I tried to catch it with a shaking hand and a pint glass but I panicked and dropped the glass, and it fell and ran into my bed. I didn't sleep for days after that. 

My ma had convinced me the spider left, but it hadnt. I eventually started sleeping better, but these past few nights I've been thinking about it again. I'm not sure why. 

It's the reason I am writing this entry tonight- it's just gone past midnight. I have to get up for work in under 6 hours so I really made a bad choice. 

But I've been instinctively looking up where the spider was back then, at the protruding box in the corner that runs along one side of my room just above my head. I have a high bed to make spacing easier in the tiny place, so that thing was mere inches from me.I

 I don't know why it's decided to come back to my mind now, but I just hope it isn't my brain secretly foreshadowing the spiders revenge or something, lmfao.

But I tell you this, so listen.- that was one of the worst weeks of my life. It was the start of a new school year for me, and I was surviving of about an hour of sleep tops each night. My friend found it funny when I voiced my struggles to her. 

I was seriously sleep deprived, and slept in my sisters room in the floor as a last resort, and that was awful too. It was hot and I was stressed enough without the heat getting to me. 

I felt on edge whenever I even stepped foot in that room. Touched everything with caution, constantly inspecting the floor and walls. My drawers were pulled forward and my mattress flipped. And now for some reason its on my mind again. I don't know. I'm tired. 

God bless you all and have a not-so-sleep-deprived day/night :') 

Signing off~

~Vee 🌞🌙