Melida May and Phillip Coulson

I am not Melinda May and I will never be her

Warning: This one-shot is about, among other things, self-hatred and suicide. So if you can't handle that, don't read this. Otherwise have fun!

Melinda May had had a terrible day. Training with the new agents was going poorly, she was injured, it was the 9th anniversary of Bahrain and she had spoken to Radciff and found out that she wasn't Melinda May but an LMD. She was totally confused. What should she do? She couldn't tell anyone. Not even Coulson. So she did what she always did when she was feeling bad. She went to the stairs that led to the roof of the base. She sat there staring at the starry sky and crying. But it didn't help. She wasn't getting any better. She began to sing quietly. Melinda sat on the roof for hours and just couldn't stop thinking and crying. She would never be Melinda May. She had her memories, her feelings and desires. But she would never be able to have what she wanted. The Love of Phil Coulson. She didn't even know if he wanted the real May, but he certainly didn't want a simple copy of her.

While Melinda sat on the roof, Coulson searched for her below. He had now searched the entire base. He was in the lounge, the training room, some offices and of course the infirmary, but she was nowhere to be found. So went to her room. It would be unusual for her to be in her room at this time, but it was actually the only option. He knocked and waited a moment. When she didn't answer, he knocked again and called through the door, "May? May are you there?" He got no answer, so he decided to open the door and see if she was there and if she was okay. He carefully entered the dark room and turned on the light. He frowned when he saw Melinda wasn't there. He quickly turned off the light and left the room again. 

He decided to go to the kitchen next, even though that was the last place he would expect Agent Melinda May to be. On the way he bumped into Daisy. He stopped for a moment, said nothing and then just kept walking. He was a little worried about Bahrain. "Coulson?" Are you okay?" Daisy asked worriedly and turned to him. "Yes. "Yeah, everything's fine," Coulson muttered absently, not even bothering to turn around and look at Daisy. Daisy frowned, walking behind Coulson and when she reached him, she grabbed his arm. 

"Coulson?" she asked worriedly, "What's wrong with you?" "It's May. Today is 9 years ago in Bahrain, she's injured and I can't find her. What if she doesn't feel well? What if her stitches burst and she lies somewhere and bleeds to death?" Coulson explained. He still didn't stop. Daisy nodded thoughtfully and then asked: "Where have you been looking for Coulson?" "Everywhere. Even in her room," Coulson replied. Daisy thought for a moment and then asked: "On the roof too?" "On the roof? Why would she be on the roof?" "She likes to be alone when she's feeling bad because she doesn't want to show her emotions in front of other people. So if she's not in her room, which is the only place on the base to be truly alone, then she's not on the base. However, you didn't mention that the cameras recorded her leaving. By the way, we should also have cameras in the hallways and various common areas. Then you would know where she is for a long time. But whatever. It's quite obvious. If she's not in the base, she's on the base. And another thing. Tell her how you feel. This will change everything. For the better. Good luck Papa Coulson," she explained. At the last sentence she started to grin as she saw Coulson blush.

 Coulson's mouth hung open for a moment. Then he really understood what May had said and stuttered: "M-May? And...um...me? How do you come up with something so...um...ridiculous and...absurd? I mean...uh...May is great. A really... great and nice person, but me and her? No. Never!" Daisy said nothing. She stared at Coulson for a moment. He wasn't expecting it, but he actually got a little scared at that look. May must have taught it to her. "Yes, Coulson. "I learned that look from May," she said flatly. "Of course," Coulson murmured, "Could you stop it? That's scary!" Daisy just said in a dangerous tone: "Admit it!" Now she grinned at him and Coulson replied quietly: "I like May." "Say it louder," demanded Daisy. Coulson thought for a moment and avoided her gaze. Then he said a little louder: "I like May." "That's fine, Coulson. Come. Let's go to Mom!" "Mom?" Coulson asked confused. Daisy smiled and then explained, "We're looking for May. And May is like a mother to me. And you like a father. If I could choose, you would be my parents. So I call May when she's not around Mom." "You're like a daughter to us too, Daisy. I would love it if you were my daughter and... yes. "You know," Coulson said, placing a hand on Daisy's shoulder. She started laughing, hugged Coulson and then whispered in his ear, "And May, your wife. If you get married you can adopt me." 

When they pulled apart, Coulson said to her, "Not a bad idea. But I have to talk to her and I just can't do that. I can't just tell her I love her after so many years of friendship. She would surround me." "Now don't worry like that. I let Yoyo read May's diary. "She mentioned her a few times... well let's just say...?" Daisy tried to reassure him. Coulson just stared at her, mouth agape. Then he grabbed her arm and walked with her to the staircase to the roof. He told her to go up the stairs and he followed shortly behind. 

Daisy stood next to the stairs and waited for Coulson. When he got to the top he looked around and saw May standing on the edge of the roof. She stared down. "May?" Coulson asked carefully, "Is everything okay? Get away from the edge!" She looked up at him and then back down. She took a small step forward. The next step she would take would no longer have solid ground under her feet. She would fall. Coulson ran over to her and grabbed her arm. Then he said worriedly, "May. Come on. Away from the edge. What's the point?" 

She looked at him again and then said, "I'm not Melinda May and I'll never be her. I'm very sorry Phil. But please do me a favor. Find the real May." And with those words she tore herself away from Coulson and let herself fall.