Is There Anybody Out There?

2 Minus 1: The Spiral of The Emo Aegi

I got up, taking my phone and throwing it on my bed, locking my room door to keep Josh from seeing me before flopping down onto it. I grabbed my phone and opened a picture. A picture I secretly took the other day when Chan borrowed my shirt. Was it creepy that I took it? Maybe... But he just looked so cute. I stared at it as I cried, the tears soaking my pillow.

"Lee Chan... I love you so much..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"HANSOL VERNON CHWE WAKE YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW WE HAVE A SHOW TODAY AND YOU HAVE TO GET READY!!!" Joshua yelled as he banged on my door, waking me up.

I sat up slowly, wiping my swollen eyes, speaking out with a hoarse voice, "Josh, I don't think I can perform today, I feel really sick..."

"Woah you sound sick. Let me in?"

I got up, sighing and unlocking the door, slowly cracking it open.

"Holy shit Vernon, you look horrible!" Joshua said, opening the door and putting his hand on my forehead, "Are you running a fever??"

"I don't think so but I feel like I'm gonna puke..."

"No wonder you were in bed when I came home from Stray Kids last night..."

Suddenly the image of Chan with Changbin crossed my mind and my stomach dropped again, so much so as I looked into Joshua's eyes that I ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and falling to the floor as I actually puked.

Once I felt like I was done I stood up, opening the door to a worried Joshua.

"That's it, I'm calling Chris and Seungcheol. We can't perform with you like this. You need to rest. Get back in bed, I'll make some soup and get you some medicine."

I slowly nodded and made my way carefully into my room, laying back down and feeling my phone vibrate as the band chat got messages, Joshua saying shows cancelled I'm sick. Everyone chimed in, saying it's okay, get rest, they hope I feel better soon.

How long does it take to heal from heart break?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After staying in bed sleeping and loathing all day Saturday with not a single message from Chan, I woke up late on Sunday and felt physically good enough to get out. I told Joshua I was going to Stray Kids to apologize to Chris for yesterday, which I was going to do, but I was really going to talk to Changbin.

After some convincing he finally let me leave and I made my way to the bar, not driving carefully at all as I decided maybe if something happened it would solve everyone's problems since that's all I am, a burden.

I walked in and looked around, seeing less of a crowd than on Saturdays. I looked at the stage and saw a sign that said "Karaoke Night! Sign up here!"

No one was currently singing so I walked up, writing my name on the super short list. That's when I spotted Chris. I made my way to him and gave him a sheepish smile as we made eye contact.

"Vernon! How are you feeling!"

"Better today... I don't know what happened yesterday... I'm sorry we had to cancel on such short notice..."

He gave me a soft smile and patted my head, "Hey mate, it's okay! We just let Felix, Hyunjin, and Minho perform some dances and stuff. No harm at all!"

I gave him a small smile and nodded, "Good, I was worried we had left you with nothing... I didn't wanna hurt your business!"

"No, of course not! There's always something we can put on here! All I care about is how you're feeling! Your health is more important than entertaining some bar goers."