A flashlight in the shadows.

chapter 48: Graduation.

'What am I doing?' I asked myself. 'He is not going to make you leave your own house.' I told myself. I turned on my heel, bumping into Bennett, who was trying to stop me. My sudden action had caught him off guard. He stopped and stared down at me.
"I didn't mean what I said-"
"Bennett, I want you to leave my house." I interrupted in my calmest voice. He was dumbfounded.
"But I-"
"Bennett, I don't care, I need you to leave so I can think." He clenched and unclenched his fists. He finally nodded,
"Fine, I'll go." He walked past me to his house, closing the door behind him. I tried calming down. I went back inside to the kitchen and started cooking. I couldn't concentrate and ended up almost burning down the house. I tried reading a book, but the words became meaningless phrases and paragraphs. I even tried doing some yoga that Lucy had taught me, but my mind was still enmeshed in the hurtful words Bennett said. I had to vent to somebody, and the only person in the world that I could trust in that moment, was my dad. I hopped in the car and drove to the shop. Dad had given me a spare key, so I let myself in. After opening the door, I walked in and yelled out,
"Dad?!"
"Sarah?" I heard him ask.
"Yes." He coughed and said,
"I'm under the green car!" I walked to a dark green 1978 Thunderbird and saw my dad's feet sticking out from underneath it. I sat down on the chair that sat a few feet away, taking down my hair and running a hand through it. He coughed again and wheeled himself out from under the car, sitting up a little,
"Hand me that wrench." He pointed to an old heavey metal one that sat on the wooden table. I got up and leaned down to hand it to him.
"Here you go dad."
"Thanks." He wheeled himself back under and sighed. "Why did you come?" I heard a rusty bolt being tightened. After the sound died out, I sighed and explained,
"Boy problems."
"Tell me. I'm good at boy problems," he replied, making me giggle and shake my head.
"I don't think so."
"Well, I do. You came to my shop, now talk." He stated. He slid a hammer out from under the car, signaling me to put it away. Once I had set it down on the table, I sighed.
"I got a letter back." All the noise stopped and he slid out from underneath the car. He sat up and leaned himself against the car.
"And?!?" I blushed and looked down.
"Harvard. I got accepted." He smiled and got up.
"Thats amazing Sarah! I'm so proud of you!" He wrapped his hands around me and gave me a tight hug. It didn't give me comfort, quite the opposite, actually. I knew that I couldn't pass up this opportunity. You can't just walk away when Harvard accepts you. But I really didn't want to leave Bennett. After everything we've gone through this year...we can't just leave our relationship at high school. But he was so upset with me, I didn't know what I would say to him. Dad pulled away from the hug, still smiling.
"I'm so happy Sarah. When do classes begin?" I smiled.
"September." I replied. He nodded and said,
"Are you excited?"
"Yeah, I guess." I sighed. He frowned and we sat down together.
"What's there to guess? Why are you so sad?" He set a hand on my hand, squeezing it. I gave it a small squeeze back and sighed.
"Boy problems?" I ran another hand through my hair. His smile dimmed and he nodded.
"Ah, yes. So....tell me the story." After a moment to consider, I sighed and nodded.
"Bennett and I had thought of a plan to stay together once we went to college. We were going to get an apartment together. But after I received the letter from Harvard, he said somethings he probably shouldn't have, and the only place I could think to go was here." I didn't tell dad exactly what Bennett had said, because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't give him a firm talking to. He rubbed my hand a couple times for comfort.
"I see." I turned slightly to him,
"Dad, I don't know what to do." I looked at him with pleading in my eyes. He sighed and replied,
"Well, I'd say you two need to apologize and think of another plan." I bit my lip.
"But, what if he doesn't want to talk to me?" I asked him. He rubbed his temples with his forefingers and sighed.
"Then he is too childish for you. Make him talk with you. If he really does like you, then he'll be more than happy to work this whole mess out with you so that you can still be together." He finished talking and sat back, looking at me. I looked down at my feet and sighed.
"You do have a point," then I said, "ok, I'll go. Thank you dad." I kissed his cheek and went to the car, breathing.
I pulled into my driveway at 7:00 at night. I know, it seems like everything hadn't taken that long, but I made a detour to Lucy's house where I rehearsed my speech for a couple hours.
I walked over to Bennett's house, knocking on the door. His mother answered after a few minutes. She was wearing a white apron with Apple's all over it, her dark hair pulled back into a messy pony tail. She smiled and asked,
"Hello, Sarah. Are you here for Bennett?" I nodded and pulled my hair to the side over my shoulder.
"Yes, I am."
"Good, maybe you can get him out of the house, he's been in his room all day." She explained, letting me inside. Chestnut came and attacked my leg as I walked in the door. He jumped onto the top of my leg and bit me. I kicked him off and stepped back. Bennett's mom was horrified,
"Oh my goodness, are you alright?"
"Yeah, he just startled me." I laughed. She smiled and sighed,
"I just don't know what got into him today. He's usually very timid." She smiled again and sighed. "Well, he's in his room." I thanked her and started up the stairs. Although I was feeling very brave in the car, I was nervous as I approached his door. My hands shakily knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. This time, I heard a loud sigh come from inside,
"Coming ma!" He opened the door, but was surprised when I stood in the place of what he thought was his mother. I giggled quietly.
"I'm not your mom." He frowned and leaned against the doorway. He towered over me.
"What do you want?" The bangs of his hair were swept over his forehead, and his arctic wolf eyes pierced me as I said,
"I....we need to talk." He nodded and invited me in, closing the door behind us. He turned around and crossed his arms across his chest.
"Your hands are shaking." I looked down to see that they looked as though an earthquake was happening. To stop them from shaking, I folded them in front of me.
"Yeah, sorry."
"Dont be. I'm sorry for what I said. That was the action of a total asshole, and I didn't mean it." He sat down on the bed and looked up at me. I sighed and replied,
"I forgive you, Bennett. I know you didn't mean it." Then, I took the seat next to him and grabbed his hand, staring into his eyes.
"I want us to work. I want us to stay together." He nodded in agreement.
"So do I."
"But I also can't give up Harvard." I stated. He chewed on his bottom lip and looked down at the floor.
"Yeah, I know," then he looked up and sighed, "so what do we do?" I swept some hair from my face and looked back at him.
"It will have to be a long distance relationship." He groaned and stood up, hugging himself and faceing the easel.
"Long distance relationships never work out, Sarah." I stood up and walked so I was in front of him and he was staring down at me.
"And why not?" I asked him. He frowned and shrugged, looking away from my eyes.
"People just loose interest, I guess."
"Wrong," I stated, lifting his chin with my hand, "people aren't committed enough." I led him to the easel and picked up a brush. I painted two lines side by side, one yellow, and one red.
"Now, pretend that the yellow is a guy in a long distance relationship,and the girl is the red. Ok?" He frowned and nodded.
"Ok?"
"Now let's blend them together, and we get..." I trailed off, waiting for him. He sighed,
"Orange?"
"Good. Now, as long as there aren't any other colors mixed in, the paint remains orange, right?"
"Yes?" He said in a questioning voice. I nodded,
"But what happens when you add unnecessary paint, or complications, to the paint?" He shrugged.
"It turns a different color?"
"Exactly. And no matter how hard you try, you'll never get that exact shade of Orange again, right?" He sighed,
"I'm not getting it." He stated. I sighed and turned to him.
"These two people love each other very much, but they are seperated by the complications. It's not the love, it's the problems. But if they really commit to each other, and handle their problems well enough, then no other colors are mixed, and they remain orange together." He looked at the easel, then at me, then he smiled.
"I think I get it." He stated. I smiled and looked at him. He set his hands on my shoulders.
"I want us to stay together, and if the long distance thing is the only way, then I'll commit, on one condition," I frowned and looked at him.
"What?"
"I get to help you move, and we call each other every weekend." I smirked and giggled.
"Thats two things." He smiled and hugged me around the back, pulling me close and leaning his head on my forehead.
"Do we have a deal?" I smiled and whispered up at him,
"Of course." He smiled and kissed me sweetly on the lips, sending sparks flying all around us. I loved the way the world seemed to melt whenever he kissed me. He pulled away and hugged me tightly, picking me slightly up off my feet. I giggled and hugged him back, realizing something surprising; graduation was only two months away.