𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | TWD [Book 1]

III. The Darwinian Playground

All of the sudden Carl enters the tent running, unsettling the women who stand up and Madeleine grabs her weapon, but relief washes over when he speaks.

"I just came to see you." Carl mutters, Madeleine reposing and putting her weapon down, Carol heading off to give the Grimes siblings space.

Carl acknowledges the bruise on her face which is unavoidable, having heard as the rest of the camp about the incident which took place, but he chooses not to nag her about it.

"Mads."

"Carls." She teases, the younger Grimes sitting down with her and he giggles at the nickname.

"Can you teach me how to hunt? I want to be as good as you." He indicates to the knife next to her sleeping bed, the women raising her eyebrows at his words.

"The bow and arrow wasn't enough?"

He shakes his head. "I don't think I'll ever be good at it."

"You will!" She utters with determination, wanting to ensure her brother learns enough to know how to fend for himself due to the irrational fear she won't be around him for eternity in the new world. "You need practise. A lot of it."

She knows she has to keep moving forward, to focus on the present and keep her brother safe who still needs her, however the uncertainty of what awaits for them in the future leaves her uneasy if she doesn't teach her brother enough to give her a slight slice of peace.

"How'd you learn to fight? The way you took down Daryl the other day was funny." Carl wonders, laying his head on her lap, the women gently brushing her finger's through his hair.

"When I was away all of those years, I learned to kick a lot of butts." She brags, the boy turning in her lap to stare up at her face.

"Is that how you got the scar? Why you didn't come to see me after you left? Why did you stop sending me letters?" He blurts out, having grown out of accepting her short excuses to leaving him behind and disappearing from his life when he needed her around.

"I couldn't, Carl." Madeleine adverts her gaze from his intense stare on her scar, unwanted attention on her scar always left Madeleine uncomfortable and self-conscious. She knew it was a visible reminder of her painful past, a past she tried hard to keep hidden from those she cared about, especially her brother. She had never revealed to him how she got the scar, the truth too dark and raw to share. "A lot was happening that forced me to stay away."

Whenever someone's gaze lingered on the scar, she felt a mix of emotions—shame and anger. Shame for the circumstances that had led to the scar, anger at herself for allowing it to happen in the first place. The scar was a constant reminder of the brutality of the world she had lived in.

"Why didn't you come back home?"

"I couldn't come back to you. I'm sorry if it felt like I abandoned you, I'm sorry I didn't call or write after a while. I just had to move around a lot." She answers, desperately wanting to be the strong and protective, shielding him from the harsh realities she had experienced.

"Why?" He presses on.

"It's just how life goes sometimes, Carl, things just happen." She looks down at him, remaining her action of brushing her fingers through his hair. "I want you to know if I could, I would've came back for you."

"You were mad at them, I get it. I just don't get why you had to be away for so long, without sending me more letters. You should've tried to come home sooner." He pleads, his voice sore from the pain of her leaving still affecting him as he fears he'll lose her again.

"I know, tiny pea." She leans down, kissing the top of his head. "Adult life is just more complicated than it seems."

"It seems pretty easy, adults just complicate it. When I'm your age, I'm going to show you how easy it is." Carl argues back, his older sister breaking a genuine smile.