See You in the Morning

8 // Fantasia

The early October light casts a dreamy shadow through the city. As she walks, Josie expels a breath of air that makes her bangs flutter like delicate wings of a new butterfly.

Seeing her mother had been like seeing someone come back from the dead.

Josie waits for the light at the crosswalk, lost in a sea of thoughts. She had stopped searching for her mother a long time ago. The decision had nothing to do with a lack of intrigue but more of a desire to start living her own life. But now that she's found her mother, the emotions she once buried have now begun to resurrect.

She thought she'd be angry seeing Evanna after all these years. Her rage would have been justified, as Evanna was supposed to have been her nurturer, her strong tower, her sun and her stars. No one would object if she accused her mother of abandonment. But to her surprise, Josie felt only a voracious hunger and intense longing to know this woman, if only to answer some of her greatest questions about life, love, and hurt.

She wanted to call her father and sister right away. But news like this would surely set off a chain of unpredictable reactions. And with Michelle just starting her sophomore year and their father approaching a critical juncture in his new relationship with his coworker, Josie felt hesitant to raise the alarm and phone home.

Josie takes one final turn around the block, heading towards the little alley where Lian's Pastries is located. Despite all logic and sensibility, she wants to see her mother, if only to glimpse a long forgotten face that has appeared only in her deepest dreams.

She squares her shoulders and enters the second floor tea shop across the street from the bakery.

It had been the bakery owner who suggested a neutral location for their first mother-daughter reunion. Evanna is already waiting by a window table overlooking the street when Josie arrives, wearing a simple cream-colored top and black slacks.

Josie's heart starts to race when she sees her mother. For a wild moment she wonders if this is a mistake. But when Evanna turns to greet her, Josie's misgivings vanish, replaced by an unexplainable need for answers.

Evanna's hand shakes as she pours hot oolong tea into a mug for Josie. The understated jade bracelet on her wrist trembles with the motion. Josie pretends not to notice.

"Thank you for coming to meet me," Evanna says finally. "I wasn't sure if you would."

Her voice is soft and musical. Josie nods with acknowledgement, unable to speak. There's a battle in her mind as she fights a barrage of questions she's long laid to rest.

Evanna clears her throat uncomfortably. "Does your father know you are here?"

Josie glances at her then, and shakes her head. Evanna's shoulders sag slightly – whether due to relief or disappointment, Josie is unsure.

"Ah."

An awkward silence falls between them. Josie gazes nervously around the tea shop, listening to the soft burbling of the decorative fountain and the gentle clinks of cups against saucers. Are mother-daughter conversations supposed to be this difficult? How did they talk to each other all those years ago, before Evanna left?

Josie unhooks the canvas bag from her shoulder and sits gingerly across from her mother. Although her mouth is drier than the Gobi Desert, she musters her courage. She and Evanna begin talking at the same time.

"Josie, I am so, so sorry–"

"How are you here?"

Evanna's voice warbles off and her expression turns sad. Josie stares at her mother with a burning resolve.