Same Difference [A Queer Nigerian Experience]

5 | THINK STRAIGHT

I acted as if I didn't hear clearly and replied, "Mm? I should be going." I used this as an opportunity to excuse myself, even though I was still facing away from them, and they waved goodbye as I walked away. I quickened my pace, worried that I might have already missed Maxwell, who may have taken a Keke and left.

As I got outside, I saw him just to my left, on a phone call, which might explain his sudden departure. I jogged up to him, and he was fluently conversing in Pidgin English with the caller. I stood on his right side as he faced forward, gesturing while speaking. I wondered who he could be talking to since I didn't know many people in his life. From the slang he used, it seemed likely to be Investor. I considered mouthing words or waving to let him know I was there, as he hadn't acknowledged me, but I decided to wait since he could probably see me from the corner of his eye.

Maxwell kept nodding steadily with the caller speaking on the other end, I attempted to catch any details from the conversation but couldn't. Then, Maxwell turned his head toward me and smiled, as if the caller had mentioned my name. This made me wonder once more about the caller's identity, as Investor didn't really know me, so it was puzzling why my name would come up.

"No capping na. E sharp. E mant. On God." Maxwell concluded the call with enthusiasm, speaking in a way that seemed like gibberish. I wondered if they even understood what they were saying.

Maxwell pocketed his phone, then grasped my shoulders and started shaking me with excitement, causing me to jolt. My hands were frozen with open palms, and I wondered what had made him so happy. It made me want to share in his happiness, but I was concerned about the onlookers who might pass by and think we were mad. After he stopped shaking me, he let out a breath and placed his hands on his waist, still looking marvelled.

"Who was on the call with you? What happened?" I asked, a smile beginning to form on my face, eager to share in his excitement.

"Investor. The thing enter." Maxwell answered both questions. Further explaining that he had succeeded in his fraudulent activities and "jackpot" like he called it. I didn't ask for the amount they made but I could tell it was huge.

Without asking for more, Maxwell proceeded to provide a detailed account of how things unfolded, shedding light on why he had visited the library on the day he stumbled upon Mr. Utomi's account. It turned out that he had some business to attend to, which required the library's fast WiFi access.

"So you came to steal WiFi?" I playfully remarked, interjecting a bit of commentary while he continued his narrative.

"What? Is it not in my school fees? I paid for it." Maxwell cracked me up.

Even though I knew their earnings were the result of illegal activities, I found myself strangely happy for them. It was astonishing that people could still fall for scams in this day and age, but it was what it was.

"Ok now log out of Mr Utomi's account?" I believed that since he had achieved his initial goal, he wouldn't have any reason to keep Mr. Utomi's account.

"I will. I will." Maxwell's words weren't so reassuring "but please do you still have that cyber cafe guy's number?" Maxwell planned on getting an agent to find a new place and move out of his hostel, it came to my senses that was why he was smiling at me during the call, he needed my help.

It was ridiculous that they were in such a rush to spend the money they had earned on a new place instead of saving it. But this behavior wasn't uncommon among Yahoo boys; they typically aimed to spend their money quickly to prevent it from being traced back to them. I wanted to voice my objections, but Maxwell hadn't really paid attention to my concerns before. So, I simply provided him with the number in exchange for his promise to log out of Mr. Utomi's account. It was puzzling why I was fighting for someone I hardly knew, but perhaps our shared queerness made me feel a connection.