Always On My Mind (Sequel to Always In My Heart)

Chapter 9- Finally

August 25, 2015

Dear Diary,

Why is life so complicated?

Why is life so confusing?

Why is life such a miserable thing?

Everyday that passes gets better and worse at the same time. Thank god that I have art to constantly distract myself with, otherwise, I would go out of my mind. I have been a bit busier with work, as well.

Nikki has a new boyfriend and I actually do not mind him all that much. His name is Liam and he is the same age as her. He is a very sophisticated, well-raised gentleman who is still in University. He is going to be a forensic scientist, or some fancy shit like that. The only problem I have with him is that he is CONSTANTLY hanging around the apartment. Therefore, Tommo has a huge problem with not being able to walk around in his underwear.

Which does not make Tommo happy.

On a brighter note, talk about my painting in France has sparked a bit recently. I have received a few phone calls from several publishers, possibly wanting some illustrations from me in the near future. And from what it sounds like, I will be getting paid big money for doing so.

But even through all of these positives, the number one negative always knocks my happiness down.

Harry Styles.

It has been almost a month since I last saw Harry and I have not heard a single word from him. I am just dying to know how he is doing. I wonder if his parents succeeded in getting him help. I wonder if he refused and is now back in London. Hell, with Harry Edward Styles, any outcome of the situation is possible.

I miss him. I desperately have been praying for him to get better so we can have us again. I truly do not want this to be the end of our time together.

When I left Cheshire, I left on a rather awkward note. I never officially told Harry that it was over, nor did we even discuss what our current statuses should be as individuals. In a way, it feels that we aren't really "broken up." To me, it feels like we're taking a break; we're still "together" but just "not together."

If that makes any sense...

In other words, we both know, deep down, that neither of us have any desire to see anyone else, even though we aren't together at the moment.

We honestly live such a confusing life.

But hey, this is the rollercoaster that is life.

And holy shit, am I hating it.

_______________________________

I close my diary slowly, bookmarking the next, empty page with the pen. I pull my feet up underneath of me on the couch as I lay the diary down on the coffee table. I look over at Liam and Nikki who are cuddling close to each other on the other couch, whispering and sharing a few, occasional kisses. I roll my eyes and sigh dramatically, looking disgustedly over at them.

"Oh my fucking god, have you two quite finished?!" I ask playfully, fake gagging as my eyes flicker over to the television. They are watching some ridiculous, overly romantic movie and I honestly could puke.

"Louis, stop!" Nikki responds, glaring playfully over at me. I roll my eyes once more and stand up from the couch with a slight grunt.

"You two are making me sick," I mutter, amusement gleaming brightly in my eyes. They both look over at me and laugh, kissing each other once more as the movie continues to play.