𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐒 || 𝟏𝟖+

𝐓 𝐖 𝐎

ALANI

We arrived here at highschool a few minutes ago, and I made Vale drop us off.

Vale and Nila don't really like each other that much, but then again, none of our friends like each other.

All my friends hate Vale's, and his hate mine. Although I don't hate or dislike any of them, there's one that's made it his goal to piss me off, Damian. He's never succeeded, but he does manage to rile up my friends. I honestly just think he's misunderstood, or maybe he's just being who he is, a boy.

Mama says that boys will be boys, and I took her word for it. Although she still goes off at Vale over the phone since we don't live with them anymore.

"Estás loco? Valentino Ace Marquez!"
[Translation: Are you crazy?]

I wince as I remember the last time she screamed at him in person. He had just crashed another one of his expensive cars in another one of his silly races. Now he uses a motorbike to ride around everywhere, except for when he's dropping us off to school.

Things have been really hard recently, my parents moving away to keep us safe. Being apart of one of the most powerful Mafias in the world definitely does not help either, I don't want to kill, and I definitely don't want to hurt innocent people, but I have to eventually. I haven't done it yet, which means I'll have to sooner or later.

That's why I'm so kind to everyone, it's my only escape. The only way to cover up the darkness that lurks within me.

I never chose this lifestyle, and I honestly feel like running away and never returning, but there's no way for me to do that.

I'll never enjoy a kill, ever. It's so hard to listen to the screams that my family cause, but I have to toughen up.

Mama always tells me that the people our family kill are not innocent, but it's just so hard to believe that. I just have to tell myself everytime that theyre ridding the world of a murderer, but how can that be helpful if theyre also murderers?

The targets choices can not justify our actions, and that's why it's so hard.

I've never had a temper, I'm always happy. Atleast that's what everyone thinks. I like to hide my emotions, because I don't want everyone to see it as weakness.

I don't think I'm weak, considering I haven't broken yet. The only reason it all affects me is because I simply do not get a life. Not the one I want atleast.

Nils is usually with me, always making sure I'm okay, but the screams of people that my family hurt sill haunt me, and I shudder at night when I hear them.

It's a cruel world we live in, I remind myself. Everyone has done something bad at one point, and mine just happen to be living in the life of the daughter of a powerful Mafia.

I zone back in when I feel a gentle hand tap my shoulder.

"Lana, whatever you're thinking about, it's ok. You don't have to worry about anything." Nils whispers to me, gripping my hand tightly before I feel my phone buz.

I pull it out, checking the message.

Mama💕: My baby's starting her first day of grade 12! Make sure to tell me how it goes darling. Lots of love, mama 💓.