Let Me Go (Ryden)

Chapter VII

Brendon poked Ryan, hoping it didn't hurt him too much. His boyfriend made a noise.
"Ry, wake up."
"Why?" He whined.
"Because," Brendon said, "It's like 12, and if you don't get up now, you never will." Ryan rolled over, wincing.
"But what if I want to sleep all day?" he asked, cracking his beautiful hazel eyes open just the slightest bit to glare at Brendon.
"You're very cute and all, but come on, you can't sleep all day, and you know it."
"Hmph." Ryan closed his eyes.
"Ryyyaaaan," Brendon dragged out his name. "Come on, we have to meet with the guys and Pete in an hour." Ryan opened his eyes.
"Ugh, that's today?" he asked. The sunlight in the room caught his eyes and brought out the pale green flecks in them.
"Yes, that's today, so we need to get going."
"Fine." Ryan sat up and glared at Brendon. He wasn't sure Ryan would be up to this meeting, but it was inevitable, and Brendon didn't feel like rescheduling.

~~~

"Well, that went fairly well." Brendon said. Ryan nodded, looking out the car window. Pete had been really sympathetic, and seemed to want to help, but Brendon knew he couldn't. The drive home was silent. Brendon didn't know what to say, and Ryan didn't seem to want to talk. When they finally got home, Brendon took Ryan inside and set him on the couch.
"Brendon?" Ryan asked.
"Yeah, babe?" He responded.
"Can I ask you something?" Brendon nodded. Ryan bit his lip.
"W-when I die, will you be able to carry on without me?" Ryan glanced up at Brendon.
Brendon was silent. His heart sank. Ryan couldn't think like this. He just couldn't.
"Ry, sweetheart, why would you ask me that?" He asked.
"Because I need to know." Ryan answered, looking away.
"Ryan." He looked at Brendon. "Don't think like that, honey. Don't. You aren't dying anytime soon, not on my watch." Brendon was trying to hold himself together. He was trying to stay positive, but even he had his doubts, but if Ryan was thinking this negatively, it might as well all be over.
"But Brendon-"
"No. Please, don't. I don't want to talk about this right now. Or ever, for that matter." Brendon cut him off. Ryan bit his lip again.
"Are you in pain?" He asked. Ryan shook his head.
"You're sure? You're biting your lip, and that's usually what you do when you're in pain."
"Brendon, I'm always in pain. It doesn't matter. All the drugs do anymore is make me drowsy. It's just pain and tiredness. I'm sick of constantly sleeping because these stupid meds make me tired. Please just drop it." Ryan said. Brendon sighed, folding his arms.
"So there's nothing I can do for you?" He asked. Ryan lay down on the couch and held out his arms to Brendon.
"Well you can always come and keep me warm," he replied.
Brendon walked over to the couch and laid next to Ryan, who wrapped his arms around him.
"I thought you didn't want to sleep," Brendon commented.
"Yeah, well the one good thing about sleep is that there's no pain while I'm dreaming." Ryan mumbled into Brendon's chest.
"Oh. Goodnight then, sweetheart."
"Goodnight," Brendon kissed the top of Ryan's head. Although he knew that he couldn't survive without his boyfriend, he half-hoped that Ryan would never wake up. What was worse, Ryan dying awake and in pain, or asleep and not feeling a thing? Brendon knew.

~~~

Ryan did wake up. The moment his big hazel eyes opened, they clouded over with pain.
"Hey, babe," Brendon whispered.
"Morning," Ryan yawned. "Did we fall asleep on the couch?"
Brendon nodded. Ryan did, at least. Brendon hadn't gotten any, but he didn't need Ryan knowing that. Brendon rolled over on the small space he had on the edge of the couch and picked his phone up off the coffee table.

9:16

Brendon rolled back over. They'd have to hurry up if they were going to do what he'd planned.
"Hey, Ry, I was thinking we could, um, go out for breakfast this morning, do you want to?"
Ryan seemed to think about it for a minute.
"Yeah, sure," he said, nodding. Brendon smiled. Hopefully this would make them both much happier, at least if it all went according to plan.