22. making the bed

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San

I feel something on my neck. A warm breath that keeps hitting my skin at a low pace on the same spot, right under my earlobe. My body reacts on its own as it shivers every time the exhale gets to me. There is something peaceful about this, I like it.

I am about to fall asleep again but my nostrils tell me otherwise. I sense a sweet hibiscus perfume filling the air.

I know this smell too well.

My whole body tenses when two arms traverse my chest and wrap around me.

The way our two bodies collided is way too familiar.

I only know one person who could embrace me like this.


Liza.

"G'morning..." I hear her say with a sleepy voice moving her head on my shoulder.

I try to take a deep breath but the air gets stuck in my throat. I was not ready to see her. I did not even think about what I would eventually say to her to explain my distant behavior.

I turn on the bed to lay on my back while Liza decides to press her lips on my collarbone. I let her stay close to me even though I would have preferred otherwise, not wanting to make a scene.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as neutral as possible not trying to sound rude.

"I wanted to see you. Isn't that obvious?" She simply says before moving her face to kiss me. I turned my head to the left so she could kiss my cheek instead. The contact of her lips on my skin doesn't feel right anymore. I feel like I'm playing with her emotions and I hate it. She has been texting me nonstop these past couple of days, but I did not reply. I just can't handle her anymore. She even has the guts to come here without a warning. I know it is partially my fault since I decided to lend her an extra key, but that doesn't mean she can enter my parents' house whenever she wants to.

I remove her arms around me and put some distance between us. I really can't deal with her at the moment.

This needs to end.

"Are you okay?" She asks worried noticing I did not react under her mark of affection.

No, I'm not. Nothing is going well. I just wanted to be alone but she keeps investing my space. I need time to figure out what I really want.

Liza senses that I am overthinking so she closes the distance between us for me to confess to her. I get that she is really trying to be there for me, but every time she does, I feel trapped.

"You know what happened to me yesterday?" I let out closing my eyes so I could not meet her eyes.

"Yes, I know... Mingi told me, and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," she admits moving her hands on my chest to reassure me. "That's why I came here as fast as I could."

I open my eyes and stay silent. I should thank her for that but I don't. I don't because I know she just lied. How can she not be able to see me at school when she can come at night time to check if I'm alright? She must have known from Mingi soon enough that I was in the nursing center and yet she did not come. She probably felt like I needed space from the unanswered texts... but then she came here instead?

"You know I love you," she lets out looking at me. "I know you're hurt but you can talk to me. We always say everything to each other remember?" she continues now playing with my hair. "Did I do something wrong the other night? It's not like you to avoid a conversation, I never have hidden anything from you so..."

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