Love and Other Delusions | Chilumi

Strings

"I can handle myself." Childe said.

"And I can't?" Lumine crossed her arms.

Childe sighed. "I knew I shouldn't have brought it up. I should've just said something corny instead." He thought.

"Ajax, I am not letting you go there on your own. You are not feeling well, I doubt you'll be able to fight. I can fight." Lumine said. "Let me come with you."

Childe knew she was right. He knew too damn well she was. But he just didn't want to.

His grip on her shoulder tightened. "No, I have to do this on my own." He said.

To be honest, it wasn't a matter of just keeping her safe.

He's hurt, or to be more specific, his pride is hurt. His ego.

"I don't like this." He admitted. "I don't like feeling this weak... this... useless."

Lumine looked at him, her eyes filled with pity, with a hint of guilt. "Ajax, that's not-"

"I want to go to Snezhnaya, when I get back I'll be stronger." Childe said. He moved his hand to hold hers. "But before that, please wait for me."

Lumine looked down at their hands, his hands completely holding hers. "Please... Starlight. Wait for me here?"

Lumine didn't say anything. She understood where he was coming from, she knew well how power is something that Childe wanted. She's just... a little disappointed. Not a little. A lot.

She's very disappointed.

"Can't you get stronger with me there?" She asked, still looking down. "Is my help a hindrance?"

"No, not at all. I guess I just want to prove something." Childe said. "I feel like every time, well, almost every time that I fight alongside or against you I just appear weak. I feel... inferior."

"Don't get me wrong here, I know full well that I'm the problem here. That's why I want to do this by myself, perhaps to prove a point." He explained further.

Lumine pulled her hand away, which made Childe look at her wide-eyed, filled with worry and guilt and sadness. His heart was pounding loudly. "I sound stupid, don't I?" He laughed.

"Yes." Lumine instantly agreed. "You're being really stupid." Lumine stood up.

"Can't you prove this point of yours later? Does it have to be at this time?" She said. Her anger was rising. "Ajax, what about how I feel? Don't you think that you doing that self fulfilling shit won't make me worry like crazy?"

"I know-"

"Then don't go through with it. Let me go with you." Lumine argued.

"But-"

"No buts, if you're going to Snezhnaya I'm coming too." Lumine said. "You promised." She started to tear up.

Childe instantly noticed and stood up. "I'm sorry." He instantly said.

That's when Lumine couldn't help it. Tears started to stream down her face. "You promised you'll be by my side. I guess that's not really something you can keep?"

"Starlight..." He reached for her, but she started to walk away.

"I'll be in my room." She said. "Stupid Ajax." She muttered under her breath.

Just as he was about to run after her, a sharp pang in his chest suddenly hit, causing him to freeze at his position. "Augh." He muttered, followed by a shaky breath.

His feet felt weak again. It was the same feeling of that night he transformed to his foul legacy form. The adrenaline, the anger was gone. It was only weakness that he felt.

Weakness.

On hind sight, maybe it was just her. She's his weakness.

***

Childe knocked softly on the door. "Room for one more?" He asked the golden haired traveler who was inside the room, sitting on the edge of the bed as her back faced the door. No reply, just soft sobbing.

"I'm coming in." He said, before stepping inside.

He saw her quickly wipe away the tears.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I was being selfish. I didn't think about how you felt." He said. Silence, not complete silence though. Stifled cries echoed in the room.

"Starlight..." He called out to her. No answer. "I know you're mad, but please..."

"If you're not here to take up my offer then please don't talk about earlier." She finally said.

Childe said nothing. He kept quiet. The stifled cry became more evident.

He hugged her from behind. She held on to the hands that were wrapped around her as she let her tears flow down. Occasionally, she choked on her whimpers.

"Promise me you'll be back at least." She managed to say between her sniffles.

"I promise."