Alice in Borderland ~ Niragi

44

'This wasn't how I imagined bringing you home for the first time,' Tomoko mumbles to Ari when we're finally there, 'but...' He gestures to our house. 'Welcome.'

'This is your house?' Tetsuya asks, impressed. Niragi also looks that way.

'You imagined bringing me to your house?' Ari asks, making Tomoko look away shyly. 'Well...' he mumbles. 'I did.' I can feel the corners of my mouth pulling slightly upwards. 'I also thought about how my dad would react, but I couldn't imagine it.' I think about Ryozu and his capability to love me, the daughter of his new wife. 'I know he'd be happy that you found someone who cares about you,' I say. 'You know that's true.' When Tomoko nods and looks at me hopefully, I feel my stomach tightening. I just miss my family so much. Not just my own dad, but also my mother and Ryozu. I hate only finding out here that I do care about him, as well as about Tomoko.

'Let's make some ramen,' my stepbrother says as he enters the house. After a quick inspection I'm relieved to see that nobody stole anything from this place. I walk to the drawer in my room and take out the picture on which all four of us stand. My mother has her usual smile, Tomoko and I look awkward and Ryozu... He looks very happy to be standing in one frame with all of us. It's clear he has tried to connect with me from the start, but I wasn't ready to open up to him yet. I almost feel tears crawling up when I look at the picture, so I store it back in the drawer again.

I look up as I hear some knocking on the door. 'Hey,' Niragi says, 'I'm... I'm not sure if this is a good moment, but I wanted to apologize for getting angry. I know you all need this, but... I can't help but feeling stressed about the outcome.' I walk up to him and sigh. 'I know, and I get that, too. I'm not mad, but maybe you should apologize to Tetsuya. He only means well.'

'I know,' Niragi replies, also sighing. 'It's just one big mess. Are we ever going to go home?' When I look at him, I can't see hope. 'Yes,' I tell him. 'Yes, we are. We will go home and I will take you to my house for real. Don't you dare disappear on me again.' He curls the corners of his mouth slightly upwards. 'I won't,' he says. I wrap my arms around him. His warmth makes me feel better. 'So, you're going to take me to your house,' he says. 'I am,' I reply, leaning backwards to look at him. 'And what are you going to do with me when I'm there?' he asks, grinning at me. 'I'm not sure yet,' I reply, grinning back at him, 'but certainly something on this bed right here.'

I love looking into his eyes and seeing the warmth lying in there. 'That sounds nice,' he says, bringing his face closer to mine. When he gives me a kiss, I can't help but feel warm and giggly. 'I can't wait,' he adds, taking my hand, 'but first... We have to make dinner.' I roll my eyes and sigh. 'I know.' We move ourselves to the kitchen, where the others are.

'You have a nice home,' Tetsuya says. There's no judgment in his voice, no detection of him thinking we're privileged. I know we are though. 'And a large kitchen,' Tetsuya continues. 'I can't even begin to imagine the fine meals and cakes you would be making with it.' I avert my eyes to the ground as I take in his words. 'I'm sorry,' he mumbles, 'I didn't realise it could be a sensitive subject.'

'No, it's okay,' I quickly tell him. 'It's just... Ryozu worked so hard every day and most days he even cooked when he got back from a long shift. He baked my favourite cake on every birthday, and I said "thank you", but I wouldn't let myself grow closer to him. I regret not realising sooner that I do want him in my life...' Niragi takes my hand and squeezes it gently. 'He knows how hard it is for you,' Tomoko says, taking my other hand. 'He never stopped trying, which means he won't give up on you. I'm sure he wants you to know that whenever you're ready, he's there for you.' I try to smile at my stepbrother, but thinking about this all makes my heart ache. So I try to swallow the lump in my throat and try to blink the tears away. 'We were making ramen,' I mumble.