Olethros

thirty - freyja

My childish dreams of being noticed by the silent and stoic friend of my brother had come true. I found it silly that just his attention made me feel so stable and complete, but it was heartbreakingly true. This night, I lived a beautiful life that I never believed I could. I laid in Azriel's arms, his wing hung over our naked bodies. There was no chill in the night, no fear of being hunted in my sleep. I was entirely and irrevocably at peace.

"What do you do when you aren't here?" I asked softly, breaking the delicate silence that hung around us. Azriel wasn't fond of talking, but I yearned to hear the rumbling tilt of his voice.

"I pretend to search for you, I train," he responded, voice trailing off. I turned my head, our noses brushing.

"Do you see my brother often?" Of course he did. He lived with Rhys and Cassian, I was sure of it. Azriel hummed and nodded softly. His sleepy eyes blinking slowly at me. "Is he well?"

This time, there was a long hesitation. Despite the joy and calm Azriel provided me tonight, my heart still pounded as I awaited his answer. The haunting guilt and sorrow settling in the back of my mind, knowing his answer could bring it forth and drown me yet again.

"He struggled at first. Now, he visits your father everyday for updates. Your father seems to feel unworried, which worries Rhys all the more. He flies the court when he isn't in meetings," Azriel answered finally. As expected, I felt the tightening in my chest and the burn of tears in my nose.

"Does he hate me?" My voice broke, embarrassment heating my face. I tried to move, to duck my face beneath the large arm that was cradling me to him, but Azriel caught me just as quick. He took my face in his hand, glancing between my eyes as though his next words held utmost importance.

"Rhysand does not hate you. He is angry, he is sad, and he is desperate to find you. He wants you to be safe, but from what I've learned, he understands why you ran. He doesn't like the idea of you being sent away for marriage, no matter how much he likes Tamlin."

My brows furrowed, lips parting in surprise at the name of my supposed soon-to-be husband.
"Tamlin? The youngest son of the Spring Court?"

I'd never met the young male, though Rhysand had several times during post-war meetings. He did not fight, for being too young, but his father demanded all of his sons to be present in the meetings. Rhys had told me several times that he felt for the young male, that he was not fond of his father and was the only one of his brothers that did not wish to be High Lord. I wondered if our marriage was punishment for him. Last I knew, he was six or so years younger than me- just past his maturity.

Azriel knew he'd made a mistake. He wasn't often expressive, so I knew it was a large mistake when his eyes widened slightly and his throat bobbed. I wasn't meant to know where my fate laid.

"You've not been told?"

"No."

Tamlin was not the worst of options- from what I've heard of him- though a marriage to him was bringing me into the horrific family of the Spring Court. From all I knew of the war, Tamlin was right to not pine for his father's acceptance.

"How long have you known?" I asked, part of me wanting to push away from him, the other part craving his comfort more than ever. It was asinine, because Azriel had only just begun noticing me. Why would he tell me the plans my father had if he'd hardly spoken to me at all? I had no choice, though, because Azriel held me to him in a bruising grip. A small part of me felt joy in that harsh touch- as though he couldn't bear the thought of me being married away.

"Rhys was told by your father just over a year ago. He told Cass and I right away."

Rhys knew. All this time, my brother knew who I was meant to be sold to, yet he never told me? I wasn't sure if the knowledge would have stopped me from trying to run, but he withheld it from me nonetheless. That hurt, even if he thought he was protecting me. Rhys was always protecting me.