𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 || baxter radic

33.

"Up." He demands, throwing his hands toward the direction of my room. The word is so commanding that it makes me want him even more. I've thought about this moment for a long time. Not just with Bax, just in general. I hadn't ever done this before, but I could never admit that to anyone here. I didn't want to be looked at differently. But more importantly I didn't want to put that pressure on Bax's shoulders.

We scurry across the living room and stumble into my room, our lips tangling back up in each other. Bax shuts the door behind us in one swift movement, not even looking at what he's doing. It's so smooth that it sends butterflies to my stomach. He has so much experience that I hope I don't disappoint him—make him regret his decision to be with me.

There must be some hesitancy in my kissing because Bax pulls away, looking at me with concern. "We don't have to do anything." His thumb caresses along my cheek despite the urge to want to rip my clothes off, he's being so gentle. It means a lot honestly.

"I trust you." I whisper, unable to speak any louder. My cheeks feel hot and it's starting to migrate to the tips of my ears. If we speak any longer I without doubt will talk myself out of this. Even if I do want this to happen. If there is a will, there is a way, and I will inevitably find the way.

"You trust me?" Bax's focus wanders to the bottom of my shirt, his fingers slipping under the fabric. His tone matching that of his actions, full of desire to want to be naughty.

I follow his gaze, raising my arms and he slides the still slightly damp fabric off my skin. He trails kisses along my shoulder, followed by my collar bone, until his lips latch into the crook of my neck again. I tilt my head back to give him more access.

The moment I let out a moan his fingers unclasp my bra and he slides it off me without breaking his lips from my skin. Well... until a part of me he hasn't seen before comes into view.

I fight the urge to hide myself away—pull my arms to my chest to block him from the view. But the glee in his eyes is enough to stop me. He kisses lower, leaving such light kisses against my breast that it feels like butterfly kisses instead. But the dampness left behind is enough to tell me that it's not.

"You still trust me?" Bax's drops his hands to my waist, his lips lifting back to mine as he speaks.

I nod my head, swallowing hard.

"Good." Bax slowly slides my shorts and underwear down my legs. I suck in a heavy breath as he does. He follows with his own, distracting me by melding our lips together. And then with one swift movement he lowers me to the bed, his body hovering over mine.

My heart thumps in my chest, in my head, it thumps everywhere. It's so distracting that I don't even glance between us. I fear that if I see his body completely naked I'll back out. Something that I truly do want will vanish out of embarrassment or fear.

I let Bax guide me. His hands direct mine. He guides my touch, mapping out every inch of his naked body with just the touch of my hands. He handles me like a blind girl unable to see a single bit of him.

"Your innocence- is killing me May-belle." The sentence comes out staggered. His hand is wrapped tightly around mine as my hand grips around his dick. I slip my lip between my teeth, his comment lighting my face on fire. I almost jerk my hand away to hide my face in the self-conscious hole I made for myself—but I don't.

He crashes his face into mine as his hand slips off mine. Panic flashes in my mind. I don't know if I'm supposed to follow, if I'm supposed to continue. I don't know what I should be doing here. My mind is stuck at a four-way crossroad and I don't know what direction to turn.

But his hand quickly returns with a condom in hand. He slips it on, shooing my hand away. I tangle it up in his hair instead. That's a place it knew well, I knew what to do with.

Our lips break as he opens his mouth to speak, "if you need me to stop, whatever tell me okay?" Our eyes are locked at first, but then my eyes wander between us. I don't respond to his stated question. But he doesn't move until I nod my head in response as my eyes drift back toward his.

Anxiety is coursing through me. I feel completely numb. But despite all of it, I know that I am safe here. I know that Bax would never hurt me. Bax wouldn't be doing this is he didn't think I was ready. As these thoughts come rushing through me, my entire body relaxes. Everything releases the tension it's been holding, that's until his slips himself inside me. All that tension quickly returning.

Bax chuckles as my face scrunches and the quickest of yelps slips past my vocal cords. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I whisper, unable to say anymore, with any further gumption.

The moment slips from uncomfortable to loving. Bax is soft, gentle, caring. He's reading every facial expression. He goes at my pace. He doesn't push. He listens to my body. My voice never needing to be used.

Bax makes sure that this moment isn't just about him. This was a moment we were sharing together. As fast as it started, was as quick as it ended. By the end of it I had a new look at who Bax was. I got to see another side of him. A side that I'm glad I got to see a look into. Because without it, I didn't know how truly deeply lucky I was to have someone who cared so fucking much.