Who Am I?

Right Under Their Noses

Tears swim in my eyes but I stubbornly hold onto them. "I'm not Jinan, dad."

A fat teardrop escapes my hold and rolls down my face with the speed of a raindrop against a windowpane. Hussein wipes it away gently.

"I know," he admits to me and I hold my breath. "My Jinan died in that water. She said her goodbyes."

"Does that mean you won't exorcize me?" I blurt out and he chuckles. "No, never."

Hussein lets out a shaky breath, "I knew she left, but when you woke up - it was as if God was giving me a second chance to be a good father. I've never been a religious man hayati, but I've never prayed harder that you'd come back to me."

"I'm sorry," My voice is barely a whisper and Hussein looks at me. "For what? You did not ask for this, if anything I am the one who is to blame."

"But I am not your daughter," I murmured with tears in my eyes. Hussein pats my head gently, "Yes, you are."

I start tearing up for the hundredth time and end up just bawling my eyes out. Hussein tries to comfort me, shifting toward me and rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"Are you okay now hayati?" Hussein asks me and I nod a bit. My eyes were puffy and swollen due to my multiple bouts of crying sessions. I move from the window sill back to my now-made bed. The silken throws lay nonchalantly sprawled across my bedding.

The floor was cold to the touch, the terracotta cool against the pads of my feet despite the arid weather. Everything was bright-the sky, the colours on my bed, the view of the mansion grounds.

I was exhausted, and crying was emotionally draining. I sniff as Hussein hands me a bottle of water and I gulp it down in a matter of minutes.

"I'm so sorry Hussein," I hiccup, "I never wanted this to happen. I'd give her her life back if I could."

"No more need for tears hayati," Hussein murmured, wiping my tears. He was itching to ask me questions.

I knew it was only a matter of time before Hussein's inherent curiosity made an appearance.

"My name is Hera Daley..." I begin my story, regaining some of my composure.

I reminisce, talking about my home on Earth, not this one but the one I left behind. I tell Hussein about Cape Town, about my sisters, about my parents... about how I miss them.

"I had a big family... my Abuela, my mom's mother lived about 10 minutes away from us with my uncle; and my apa, my dad's father lived with his daughters and their families east of the Cape Flats," my smile is slow and painful. I'll never see them again.

"I was constantly tired back home. It felt like the weight of the world was constantly on my shoulders, and I was responsible for everything and everyone. I regret it now, that I didn't hug my mom more, that I didn't tell my dad I loved him as much as I should've."

Here I was, on another Earth, in a different family.

"I'm sorry about your daughter," I speak quietly as the sun starts to set outside my window.

"I'm sorry that you're here," Hussein chuckles lightly - making light of our decidedly dark situation, "I'm sorry I'm dragging you into this mess Hera." He sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"But hey," he begins, "maybe you'll return to your home when the genie decides your purpose here is complete?" His voice is hopeful.

I'm never going home.

"Maybe. But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, I have Jinan's memories but both of us know that what she knows isn't everything."

He chuckles just as my tummy growls in hunger. "Let's feed you first."