Yet.

Prologue

Of course you were working. You were always working.
Mary don't you have something better to do? Don't you have something better to do than greeting those brainless jocks who only want to hurt you in the end? It isn't the end if they get put in their place for once, if they get rejected and their egos tamed; if anything they probably could use it..

But then you came out. Had you finally seen me?
"Can I take your order?" you asked, bringing my attention back to reality, even if my own version of reality could be considered questionable at best, psychotic and delusional at worst..

"Just a hot chocolate" I responded, sending a smile in return for the warm smile you had given me, albeit that my own was more awkward than warm. Man it really showed that I didn't know how to act around you.. You've really got me crazy for you and you don't even know my name..

"Sir..?" your sweet voice sounded, concerned, worried... About me? Had I been staring? Given off the wrong impression?
"Did you want whipped cream and marshmallows in it? It's a special offer during this season"
I looked up, my eyes meeting your beautiful green ones. Staring right into one another's while the silence took its chance to lay between the two of us.
"I'll take the whipped cream with it" I finally answered, eyes following your slender hands as they moved to write it down on the notepad your every order ended up on, written so neatly with your heart-shaped tittles that finish off each j and i that found itself on the paper.

It was only a brief moment before you disappeared again, retreating to the counter to put through the order. Of course, knowing that your friend Clary was working alongside you, I knew it wouldn't be the lovely hot chocolate I was used to, not the one prepared by your lovely soft hands. Not the one prepared delicately with the attention to detail you always had when in motion, preparing the countless cups of coffee, tea and more. It was never any less careful than other times. But Clary...she had to ruin it. She ruined the beautiful thing we could've had but you didn't see that. One day you would... But for now, you were blind. It was okay, I could forgive you for it, even if you wouldn't change your mind; she simply wouldn't be in the way anymore.

Clary stepped through the doorway, exiting the kitchen with a tray in hand, carelessly handing out the steaming orders and putting them down in front of people on their tables without uttering any more than the required "enjoy". So different, contrary and repulsive. How you could be so blind to put up with her.
"Enjoy your drink, and stop staring at Mary, it makes her uncomfortable" she uttered so coldly, hashly...as if I meant any harm with it... She was so wrong, so prejudiced, so hurtful... Of course she knew nothing, that I'd be right for you, but you'd know, one day...

With clacking heels she strutted away again, whispering something in your ear to which you snickered and playfully hit her arm, returning to your work behind the counter as she walked into the kitchen once more.
"You know you'd be more successful trying to court people your own age instead of going for college aged women" Margaret uttered as she sat across from me at the table, glancing at the whipped cream pile that had been haphazardly applied to the barely lukewarm chocolate milk.
"I'm not trying to court anyone, you're better off getting out of my business. What are you doing here anyway?" I asked her, tone filled to the brim with sheer annoyance. Margaret was never the type to put up with being rejected or being excluded from anything, I supposed that was why she ended up befriending me in our extra-curricular programming course back in college ten years ago, albeit that it really wasn't appreciated in this instance.

I could see you glancing over at us, looking over Margaret as if to see if she was my love interest, even if it could be no one but you in the very end.
"So who's the lucky or unlucky one you've decided to be obsessed with this time around?" Marge joked, even if it couldn't be much closer to the truth if she had tried.
"No one, I'm just trying to read the menu" I blurted out, not focused on whatever she had tried to inquire about. I wouldn't have guessed she had taken the effort-lacking lie if it hadn't been for the obvious lack of attention on her end.
"Oh they added a new pie?? Have you tried it yet? It sounds nice, lemon meringue...reminds me of when Sarah tried to make one" she reminisced, wiping one of her black curled locks of hair behind her ear, allowing the remaining locks that made up her bangs to frame her face.

"Tsh can you be quiet??" I asked, looking over at her before grabbing the cup and taking a sip from it, careful to not spill or get whipped cream everywhere. It'd be a shame if Clary's "hard work" would go to waste right in front of you. She may not deserve being with you as a friend, but at least respecting her would earn me the slightest bit of your own respect.

"Oh my God it's Mary you're after???" Margaret suddenly questioned in a whisper, with a gasp preceding it as if it was such shocking news.
"Connor you know she has a boyfriend already, right???" she followed up, leaning over the table ever so slightly. Had she not noticed that I didn't care? Had she not noticed that nothing could get in my way when it came to you? No man, woman or other being could stop me. Not even you, yourself, could have...

It was a long few hours sitting around, listening to Marge talk about everything and nothing going on at her workplace, about how George was definitely interested in her, how Anthony was impressed with her final work at the end of the project they were doing...but finally she had left, even though you had too. Clary had left before you had, made noticeable and remarkable by how her dad had come in asking for "Clarissa", followed by her obvious groaning originating from the kitchen where she had resided until this point. After she had left you took over the kitchen station, disappearing out of sight only to bring over your love-filled crafts in the form of hot coffees and other liquids.

It really wouldn't be long until you'd see how good I could be to you. I even learnt how to make your favourite dish for you.. Spaghetti with some extra meatballs on top to keep for last with the remaining vegetables left on your plate. Exactly how you ate it each time.
I even remembered your route to work and back, how you have a tendency to stop by the a corner shop near your home for sushi on late night shifts, when you leave and when you arrive back to your place. It's all for you.. It's always all for you, and nothing you can say will make me regret it...

It's all with your best interest in mind, you may not believe it now but you better know that one day you will. One day it'll be clear just how far I'm willing to go for you and you only...
You won't know how much I've done for you to this day until it's all gone, and only when that happens will you try to ameliorate, seeking endlessly for the same type of devotion, for the same time of love and care that I gave to you. But you won't find it again. Nobody can love you the way I did and I'll make sure you'll realise that, Marianne Bell...