Arranged love

its a love story

Juliet's Pov

I'm not feeling good this morning, I've already thrown up twice. It's not like me, I'm not someone who throws up, but here I am once again hanging with my head over the toilet. There are a few things this could be, but I have a feeling that it's the one thing I know I'm not ready for right now.

I sent Selena out on an emergency assignment to get me a test, and she dropped it off last night. Me being me pushed it back to today in the hope that I wouldn't throw up again this morning, lucky me that wasn't the case.

After cleaning my mouth I get it over with and pee on the stick. It takes ten minutes to get the result from the three tests I took. It's better to be safe than sorry and take multiple tests, right?

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"Be careful" I yell after Will who is holding onto the back of Lilly's bike helping her keep steady as she practices in Central Park. Both have decided that she is going to learn to ride without the training wheels, which is driving me nuts. What if she falls and breaks a bone or smashes her head into the road? She is wearing a helmet and other protective things for her knees and elbows, but I'm still worried.

"Relax Mommy" Lilly giggles as I get closer, she is taking this with ease, I'm just a nervous wreck when it comes to her.

Looking around I take in the beauty that is Central Park. Every season brings out something new with the park that I love to look at. Fall is probably my favorite because of all the pretty colors and the fact that I can sip a pumpkin spice latte while I walk, but spring is beautiful too. When the season turns to spring, and the closer we get to summer, the park fills with more people than the cold winter months. Families bring picnics to eat and play in the fields, students choose to study outside instead of in stuffy libraries and couples go on dates. There is always something to do here and something new to see. Watching people embrace the beauty that is this park always makes me happy.

It's hard to be out here around so many people. At this time of year, the park is overflowing with locals and tourists wanting to get the most out of the park. It's been a few months since I was found, but I'm still a nervous wreck outside, just waiting for someone to jump me again. What happened still lingers in my mind like a tattoo that's permanently engraved. The nightmares are still haunting me along with the glorious night sweats and waking up screaming. Will being the caring person he is about it all, holding me close and letting me cry, but it also means he doesn't get much sleep either. I just wish it would be easier by now.

"Yeah, relax Mommy" Will adds in a mocking tone, and I glare daggers at him. "If someone doesn't behave, he will sleep on the couch" I whisper to him making him give me puppy eyes. He is such a child, but I love every side of him. I love the serious businessman, the loving husband, the inner man-child, and the role model he is to Lilly.

Loving him is scary, it terrifies me to the level that I don't know what to do with myself. I'm trying this whole love and secure relationship situation, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I've gone the step to tell him that I love him about a month ago, but it's still hard to let those three words out of my mouth. He is being patient, but I'm scared that it is too much work for him. I'm a lot of work, there is no question about that.

I jump when I feel a hand on my arm taking me out of my head "Love are you okay?" will whisper so Lilly doesn't hear. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking" I brush it off. I know I should lean on him; I just don't know how to do it. Falling in love is one thing, how to act when you are is a whole new ballgame.

"Mommy look at me" Lilly yells as she rides along the sidewalk in my favorite park. "I'm looking sweetie. You're doing so good" I encourage her. She is so proud and excited to learn to ride a bike and Will is a big help. I don't think I would be able to teach her like Will is because I would be way too scared, and she would get hurt. Of course, Will doesn't want her to get hurt either, but he is a bit more adventurous than me.