Arranged love

a scared little girl

Gently I stand up with her in my arms and carry her upstairs. "I'm going to tuck you into bed and sit with you until you fall asleep. And if you wake up again and are scared, you can come to my room, and I will talk to you until you feel better. Any time at night you feel scared you can come to me if you don't want to go to mommy" I say and place her in her bed and tuck the covers over her.

I know that I need to have a serious conversation with Juliet tomorrow, because Lilly shouldn't be this scared. I'm pretty sure Juliet is scared too if Lilly heard her crying, and I want to help in any way I can. Part of me wants to keep to my lane, it's not my business after all, but I feel a need to protect them both. She didn't say a word when we got back here, she just went into her room to be alone. It was affecting her, but maybe she doesn't feel like she can talk about it. I want her to know that she can fully trust me and that I have her best interest at heart. There is nothing she can't come and tell me about; I truly care about her. Every day I care about her more, so much that it's scaring me. I've never felt like this about someone before, and I don't know what to do with it or what it is. 

｡ﾟ•┈——୨♡୧——┈• ｡ﾟ

"Juliet, can we talk?" I ask her as I walk into the kitchen where she has just finished breakfast. I've already put on a movie for Lilly in the movie room, so she doesn't hear what Juliet and I talk about. We head into the living room. When I look at her, she seems exhausted and has dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush. Last night I woke up to go get something to drink, and I met Lilly downstairs. She was scared and sad" I say and tell her about what Lilly said about Travis. With every word I say more color drains from her face, and she starts to fidget with her hands.

"It's not what you think it is. He isn't that bad. It was only a few times; he doesn't mean anything and with it. Sometimes I'm just too difficult to deal with and he just makes me realize that I did something wrong. It's not his fault that there is something seriously wrong with me, that I'm problematic. It's my fault and I just need to be better. I don't want to get back together with him, but it was never his fault, it was all my fault. I didn't know Lilly knew, but she shouldn't have told you that. I'm fine and she doesn't have anything to be scared of. I promise that it's" She goes on a long rant trying to defend what happens, but I cut her off.  The words out of her mouth don't match her expression, it's like it's an automatic response to being confronted with something.

"Listen Juliet. Nothing was your fault. Domestic abuse is never the victim's fault, and the fact of the matter is that your daughter is terrified. But I'm not going to let him hurt either one of you. We are married, that makes us family, so you don't have to go through life alone anymore. Let me take some of the burden off your shoulders so the loads get easier to carry. Not to mention that you don't seem to believe what you are saying, you sound like a robot" I say as a few tears slide down her pretty face.

Instinctively I scoot over and wrap my arms around her. Initially, she flinches before she leans into my arms and lets me hold her. "I'm here, you're not alone and you can trust me. Let me help you and let me help your daughter. Like it or not, we are in this together now. There is nothing you can't come to me and say, I've got your back always" I say and kiss the side of her head instinctively, but I think it surprised both of us. 

My feelings towards her are getting stronger, and I can't explain why I am so drawn to her. I don't want her to be in pain and I don't want people to hurt her. I've grown attached to her and her daughter, there is no denying that. All I want for them is to be happy and taken care of. Of course, Juliet is an independent strong woman and can take care of herself, but that doesn't mean I don't want to take care of her too. She is important to me, and I genuinely care.

"I didn't know she knew that much. God, I feel so bad that she heard all of that. She is so little; she doesn't need to know what that shit is. No six-year-old should have heard that" she cries out and I gently rock her just like I did with Lilly last night. 

I'm never going to let that poor excuse of a man anywhere near my girls again, he won't get to hurt them or talk to them. My girls? That sounds both weird and right at the same time. No one should be treated that way, and I feel responsible for making sure that it doesn't happen again. Her mother trusted me with keeping them away from that man, and I'm taking that seriously. Now I know his name and what he looks like, he won't come near them again. 

"No one is going to hurt you again Juliet. I promise you" I whisper in her ear as she sniffles.

"Can I ask if Travis is Lilly's father? You don't need to tell me if you don't want to talk about it though" I say, and she pulls away enough so she can look at me. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy, but she still looks beautiful like always. 

"No, he inst. her father... his name was Domenic. We were a couple a long time ago during freshman year of college... he was... a bad guy and did bad things to me. I think that's why I accepted what Travis did because it was less than what Domenic used to do. Anyway... when I got pregnant, he didn't want anything to do with her, and I didn't want him to have anything to do with her either. So my parents' lawyers drew up a contract where he forfeited any parental right, and he wasn't allowed to make contact with her until she turns 18 years old. But his name isn't on her birth certificate, he doesn't have any rights to her" she says and wipes her tears.

So Travis isn't the only one that has hurt her, that makes me even angrier. What kind of poor excuse of a man think it's okay to harm a woman either physically or mentally? No real man would ever lay a hand on a woman, it's disgusting. 

"You've had to experience so much hurt Juliet, both of you have. But no one is going to hurt you anymore, I'm here now and I'm going to protect you. I promise you that. Lean on me" I say to her, and she nods against my chest. 

This is a side of her I haven't seen before, a fragile side. She has scars that run deep under her skin that I wish I could mend and remove. Knowing she has experienced such pain makes me want to treat her even better to try to make up for the damage done in the past. But no amount of care could ever erase those scars that I desperately wish could fade away.