FRAGRANCE | u. itachi

五十七 | Have you ever loved me?

All her life, she had always been sheltered but ever since he made her want to live in her second chance at life, she had experienced all ups and downs, a life that was bitter but sweet, and she was more than happy. And with what had happened last night, she thought everything was well worth it. She had tasted his passion once, and she had confessed her feelings to him.

She would miss him, Kisame, and Deidara. But if her death could bring peace, perhaps, that was her life's worth.

Besides, if she had to be completely honest, she thought death was the best choice, not only for peace but for herself. She had already fallen too deep into the pit of love with a man who was a step close to death. Once he left her, she could not imagine the torrent of suffering she would have to bear. If she could die first and save herself from such grief, then death was mercy.

As she stood by the cliff deep in thought, she finally heard footsteps from behind her. She closed her eyes and for some inexplicable reason, she smiled. "Itachi."

.

Life is born, life dies.

Whether she were to die now or later, it was the same fate. Yet, Itachi did not know why his palms were sweating, the blade in his hand felt like it was pulling him down to his feet, and each step he took was like that of the weight of a mountain.

Before him was her figure, standing by the cliff, looking out into the yearn distance.

How beautiful.

She was seemingly shuffling closer towards the cliff, and when a sudden gust of wind blew, she looked as if she were going to be knocked over and lose her footing. His breath hitched and he felt a surge of instinct to rush to her, to scold her to stand farther from the edge and to be safe. And at such thought, a strange bitter feeling filled his lungs and for some reason he wanted to laugh. How ironic it was that even at that moment, holding a knife in his grasp, he still wanted to save her.

He closed his eyes, as he stood still on the spot, unable to find the right word to tell her, to make her understand, to not scare her away. But needless to say, she broke the silence first for him, as if she knew he couldn't do it.

"Itachi," she called his name. She did not turn to face him as she kept her gaze forward. "The rain stopped," she muttered as she let out a sigh, one with acceptance and perhaps relief. "You're here to kill me, right?"

Something about her soothing, calm, and casual tone sank his heart. He closed his eyes. "Yes."

She let out another soft breath, letting a puff of smoke rise into the cool air as she turned to face him. And once their gaze met, his breath was caught in his throat and a suffocating feeling filled his lungs. She held a sad smile, but she was looking at him with the same love she always had. There was not a single trace of anger, hate, nor grief, even at her last moment: even when the one she gave her heart to was standing before her heartlessly holding a blade in his hand.

His breath was shaky as his fists tightened on the blade's handle. Why couldn't she just be hateful to him? Why couldn't she just resent him, tell him hurtful words, and let him feel all the hurt that she must be feeling?

She caught the look in his eyes and a layer of tears formed in hers. "Don't . . ." her voice scraped out of her throat as she gulped down her tears. "D-Don't be sad."

He stood still, almost dazed and motionless. Why was she still comforting him even at this moment when it was him who should have comforted her?

A sharp breath left his lips, and for some reason, his hands trembled, rattling at the blade by his side. "I'm sorry, " he managed to speak. "I'm sorry, Kuina."

She blinked down her tears as she smiled and nodded.

Itachi closed his eyes, trying with everything in him to muster up his strength. Just like how he did it during the massacre, he just had to close his eyes and swing down his blade, think of nothing, let his heart become an empty void and his body an empty vessel.

"Do you have any last words?" he managed to say. And for some reason, at the back of his mind, he wanted her to beg him to stop. If only she said a word, if only she begged him one time, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it.

But she never did.

Instead a sob, almost like that of a child, choked out of her lips. "W-Will it hurt?"

He snapped his eyes open, the innocence in her words brought a torrent of pain that drowned him whole. He lowered his gaze. "I can put you in a Genjutsu-"

She shook her head. "Let me be with you in my last moment."

His breath trembled as he nodded. "I'll make sure it won't hurt," he forced out his words, his voice cracking from his throat.

She nodded as she gave him one last smile and scanned her eyes over his face as if she were mesmerising him one last time. And with that she turned her back to him as if to never look back.

His blade felt so heavy in his palms that he brought both hands to hold the hilt just to lift it up. "Do you . . . do you blame me?" he found his voice choking out, asking her a senseless question, one that was so selfish and heartless.

She went silent at his words and as she turned her back to him, he caught the slight tremble of her shoulders, but she made no sound. At long last, she forced out her voice, her words were that of a whisper. "No . . . But I just-I just want to know, have you . . . have you ever loved me? even just a little?"

His breath felt suffocated in his lungs, his head felt light, and his vision was blurred with some substance he wasn't so accustomed with. "Kuina, I–"

"You can just lie to me," her voice squeaked out as she sobbed quietly. "Just lie to me."

He lowered his gaze. "I love you," he spoke as he slowly raised his blade up to her neck. I have always loved you. He wanted to tell her.

He loved her so much, and he just wanted to hold her, to grow old with her, to make her the happiest person the same way she made him. He wanted to tell her how much his heart yearned for her, how every night he dreamt of her, how he just wanted nothing but her. How there was nothing he had to lie for.

"Goodbye," she muttered hoarsely as she closed her eyes.

His whole body tensed up, and with everything in him, he knew he had to do it. It had always been for peace, and for the world. Even if he loved her so much, even if in this life all he wanted was her, he was already a slave to peace and to the path he had chosen. He closed his eyes, and it felt as if the world had stopped, as if all the colour within the world had faded away just like the crimson hibiscus within the field they stood, he brought the blade up above his head.

"I love you," he muttered softly beneath his breath once more, "It's not a lie, it'll never be," his voice was quiet like a whisper and with that, it took everything in him to move his hand as he mercilessly swung the blade down.

*

𝐹𝑅𝐴𝐺𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸
うちはイタチ