In Another Life - JackieShauna AU

Chapter 19 - Good night, Jackie

February 2nd.

What time is it?

Shauna stirred in bed slightly and let out a weak grunt. She didn't bother to check. She didn't care.

The sky was already black. She figured it was already past five in the afternoon. So she didn't care anymore. She didn't care if it was seven at night, or eight at night, or twelve in the morning, or if the world's clock stopped moving altogether.

All she cared about was the fact that Jackie was still with her, next to her, breathing, alive.

All she cared about was the fact that Jackie Taylor was still here.

Shauna moved her head to the side and touched her forehead to Jackie's neck.

Jackie's movements were late to this, but she reacted nonetheless as she turned Shauna's way to touch her chin to the top of her head. The soft touch of Shauna's hair against her chin comforted Jackie and pulled her into a relaxed state.

Shauna liked it when this happened. It would cause fewer spasms to grip Jackie's body, allowing her to unwind more than she usually could. Shauna didn't know why she had this effect on her, but she did, and that was all that mattered to her.

The day was exceptionally cold, but Shauna was glad to know that the hospital's room provided enough heat to keep Jackie from freezing over. But even so, Jackie still suffered from trembling spells, and they would come in small, short bursts and last only several seconds before her body became too weak to keep it up.

Shauna always made sure to hold Jackie close and squeeze her tight whenever this happened, just to let her know that she was there for her. That she wasn't another one of those illusions her mind would create. Shauna would also murmur quiet things to her from time to time, to keep up a small, often one-sided conversation. She'd usually ask yes or no questions, ones that were easy for Jackie to answer with a nod or shake of the head. But sometimes, she wouldn't answer certain questions, despite Shauna asking them twice.

She wouldn't always get answers, Shauna was aware of her, but she would still ask her things. Oftentimes, she would just tell her things that were on her mind.

It was strange how the less Jackie asked, the more Shauna found herself saying.

Relaxing her head against the crook of Jackie's neck, Shauna blinked wearily and stared off into the distance. She focused on nothing... Something she remembered Natalie doing. Her hand held onto one of Jackie's very thin arms, and her thumb would occasionally rub up and down to comfort her. They shared the same navy blue knit blanket and huddled up beneath it, keeping each other warm in the best way that they could. As Shauna lay there, quiet, listening to Jackie's strained breathing, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Jax?"

She spoke just loudly enough for Jackie to hear her. She felt her move against her head in response, so she continued. She drew in a deep breath and blinked away the stinging in her eyes.

"I want you to know that... I don't regret meeting you."

Jackie didn't move much. She just breathed now.

"I am... Very happy to have met you. And to have gotten to know you..."

Shauna paused for a long moment and said nothing for a while. But then she spoke up again.

"So... Thank you, Jackie, for talking to me in the hall that day... And asking me if I was alright. Because I wasn't, then. But... I am, now."

Slipping her head down to Jackie's chest, Shauna leaned against her frail frame. Shauna listened to the quickened rate of Jackie's still-beating heart and knew that this was her response to her words.

Shauna closed her eyes against her. She found she had nothing more to say. She instead allowed her actions to speak for her. She pulled herself closer to Jackie and nudged her face into the warmth of her neck. She could feel Jackie's chin rubbing against the top of her head like it always did. It never failed to comfort Shauna. She breathed in that familiar scent that she'd grown so attached to, then exhaled quietly against Jackie's prominent collarbone.

Shauna could feel a weak, ailing arm pull itself up to rest upon her shoulder. To this, she shifted in closer and allowed her body to relax. Her breathing evened out and in no time, she could feel herself slipping, slowly, into the warm grasp of sleep, unable to resist.

In a daze, Shauna's last words were, "Good night, Jackie," before she slipped off into a deep sleep.

She dreamt of nothing in particular that night. She suffered no nightmares, nor did she see anything remotely close to a dream. There was nothing. There was only blackness.