jack and jill went up the hill

lil peep

heyy yall urwildestdream11 lost a bet (js like slash😜) and someone (not me guys not me) forced her to read a slash oneshot that was slightly rated x BUT SHE DECIDED TO READ IT ON MY PHONE AND NOW EVERYTIME I OPEN WATTPAD THAT SCARY STORY POPS UP

james pov

all i remember is waking up in a hospital. there were people surrounding me, some i didnt even know. then my memory started coming back.

"what happened?" i asked.

"u went into anafalactic shock," the doctor said.

"i did?"

"yeah," kaia said. "u never told me u were allergic to anything."

"oh. well im deathly allergic to nuts and sesame seeds."

"oh well, now it's good to know. always bring an epipen with u." the doctor said. "im dr horhay btw."

"oh well thanks for saving my life dr horhay."

"dont thank me. thank this young gentleman here who really saved ur life."

"yes. i saved ur life." he said with a thick accent. "my juraj senses were tingling and i knew that somewhere, someone in this world needed my saving. and it was u."

"wow, very inspirational, juraj."

"dakujem," he said.

seren and kamila giggled.

"what happened to the fat girl?" i asked them.

"oh her? yea she rolled down the mountain 80ft and fell into lava rocks. she prolly somewhere here in this hospital too but idc." seren explained.

"nooo shes too poor for this kinda luxurious hospital." kamila said.

"o yea right i forgot."

"well im js happy that ur okay, james. i rlly cant thank juraj enough." kaia said.

"neither can i," i said.

"tank u. tank u guys so much." he said.

anyways, after a while i was able to go home. the hospital bill was like 20293398448383 dollars but im rich so yk thats like equivalent to like 0.0000000001¢ to me. and juraj even offered to help pay.

me and kaia were driving home. i invited her to come back to my place since i live in a peanut and sesame free household. i have 2 younger sisters that r also deathly allergic like me.

so we got back to my place and went into my room. we were talking for a while and listening to lil baby. like ik her fav singer is lana del rey but who can resist lil baby. i mean cmon now. then one thing led to another and we did the devils ooga booga salsa dance 🪩💃🕺👯‍♂️. me oh my it was a whole dance party up in there.

then all of a sudden i hear a loud band. god damnit why tf was our dance sesh ruined. anyways we got downstairs and see my two lil sisters hiding in the pantry w my big bro.

"why ru hiding?" i ask.

"shhhhhh." they all said.

then i hear big footsteps behind me. i see the fat girl standing there.

"then he huffed.... and he puffed.... AND HE BLEW THE HOUSE DOWN!!" she said.

"uhhh what ru doing in my house?" i say.

"i hate u guys! ur all so ugly! googoogaagaa!"

"what the fuck get out or im calling 911" kaia said.

"go ahead. i bet u wont." she crossed her arms.

"ok." i said as i grabbed my phone and dialed 911. i hit call and it started to ring. she saw and got scared and ran out crying and screaming. kaia got some pics and put them all over the internet. seren and kamila got a good laugh out of that.

anyways 911 came and i told them to be on the lookout for a fat 4,2 girl.  they said shes alr been wanted for a while. shes kinda rlly weird. so the cops decided to use the pics that kaia took and made a wanted poster for her. the reward is 2939383838383848484774755859594983827-1827384848485848837372711610253647448040 dollars cuz no ones gonna be able to catch her. every time they try she always escapes cuz shes so fat and they cant get ahold of her.

so anyways the next few weeks were kinda harsh for kaia. shes been feeling rlly bad so she decided to take a pregnancy test since we did the devils ooga booga salsa dance not too long ago. she came to my house and took it while i was home alone. i waited anxiously outside the bathroom door. then she opened it.

"what does it say?" i ask.

"idk we gotta wait a few mins." she said.

those next few minutes felt like centuries. like fall out boy. finally, when the timer was up, she slowly flipped the test up to reveal the answer. and then we saw............

***

yasss queen love the cliffhanger anyways part of this was requested by urwildestdream11 also go pour acid in her eyes for her cuz this poor woman still is traumatized by slash and she needs her eyes washed.