WOSO Oneshots

You Two Are Shameless, You Know That? - Charli Grant x Reader

Request from @Ilovecharligrant !
(A/N: I released this chapter about 2 hours ago and I'm concerned with how much yall are liking this shitty ass chapter)
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"You're the cutest," Charli cooed as you and her entered the dining hall, squeezing your cheeks like one would do with a newborn baby. "So adorable!"

"You're cuter," you shot back, grinning goofily. "Have you looked in the mirror?"

"Aww!" she said, giving you a peck on the lips. "Well, if I'm the cute one, you're the hot one. You make Henry Cavill sweat."

"Can you two get a room?" Sam interrupted jokingly, the Matildas captain walking into the room. "You two are shameless flirts, and it's making everyone else feel single."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "Just because Kristie's not here doesn't mean you have to shit on Charli and I, right Charles?"

"You know I hate that nickname," she said, swatting you on the shoulder. "It makes me sound like a 60 year old man!"

You shared a smirk with Sam as she sat down across from you. "What do we call Jessie, Sam?"

"Jeff!" The Striker exclaimed, referring to your Chelsea teammate Jessie Fleming.

Your girlfriend rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Whatever."

"Hey, guys!" You said loudly, gaining the attention of both the Matildas staff and your fellow Aussie teammates. "What's the difference between Charles and a saltine cracker?" (Biscuit? Idk what yall call it, lmk lol.)

"What?" Mackenzie shouted from across the room. "Do tell!"

"There is none," you yelled back. "They're both salty!"

Mary, Sam, Kyra, and Courtney groaned, all of them having heard one too many of your awful jokes and puns.

Kyra began,  "Y/N, how many times do we have to tell you, you're not fu–"

On the contrary, Macca, Caitlin, and Alanna were leaning back in their chairs, wheezing uncontrollably.

"That's rich coming from you!" Caitlin howled with laughter. "At least Y/N knows how to deliver a joke!"

"How dare you!" Kyra gasped. "You take that back! My delivery is perfect!"

The rest of the room only laughed harder, entertained by the friendly banter that you had started.

"Stop laughing!" Kyra protested. "And as I was saying, Y/N is not fuckin' funny!"

You playfully glared at her. "I take offense to that!"

"It's okay, I think you're funny," Charli grinned cheesily. "Did I mention that you're hot?"

"Ewww!" Courtney complained. "You two are gross!"

You huffed. "Don't be jealous because our relationship is awesome!"

"I'm not jealous, you two are just sickeningly sweet together!"

Sticking your tongue out, you began engaging in conversation with Sam, Ellie, and Steph, your girlfriend turning to discuss things with Teagan.

Meals with the team was fun.

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"Hey guys!" You yelled on the way to practice. "Why–"

"No!" Half of team protested loudly.

"What?" You huffed.  "You don't even know what I'm gonna say!"

"You already told us about the Lady Gaga one!" Teagan grumbled.

Frowning, you said, "I came up with a new one!"

"No!"

"Why did Shakira marry a footballer?" You carried on anyways, grinning at the distressed looks on your teammates' faces.

Mary tried to stop you. "Y/N–"

"No no no, let 'er finish!" Macca interrupted, her eyes gleaming mischievously. The two of you had a similar sense of humor, and you always did your best to back each other up.

"Why did Shakira marry a footballer?" You repeated, sharing a smirk with Mackenzie. "You wanna tell 'em, Macca?"

"For his stamina-mina, eh eh!" The keeper declared gleefully, fist-bumping you as the bus came to a halt, finally reaching the field where you would all be practicing. (A/N: Saw this joke in a Pun-dits video and thought it was hilarious and would fit into this fic pretty well 😅)

"LEMME' OFF!" Ellie yelled, barreling towards the doors. "YOU TWO NEED TO BE STOPPED!"

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You had been talking to Alanna when you'd gotten distracted by a certain defender running by in forest green short-shorts. Completely missing your mouth, water squirted out of the bottle you'd been attempting to drink out of and hit Alanna directly in the face.

"Dude, what the fuck?" She sputtered. Upon realizing why you had gotten distracted so quickly, she waved a hand in front of your face. "Helloooo... ? Earth to Y/N?"

"Hm?"you said distractedly, eyes shamelessly ogling your girlfriend's ass. "Yeah, sounds good."

You had the attention span of a 4 year old on caffeine, as you were easily distracted by something as small and insignificant as a plane flying in the sky.

Mary and Sam walked up to both you and Alanna, smiling in amusement.

"Y/N? Are you listening?" Sam asked, snapping her fingers in front of your face. "We've got to get back to practice or Tony'll murder us."

Shaken out of your stupor, you said, "Yeah!"

As you, Sam, Mary, and Alanna began to run back onto the pitch, you turned your head to the side slightly, catching a glimpse of a small brown animal scurrying along the ground about 30 meters away.

"SQUIRREL!" You exclaimed, vaulting over the low chain-link fence and into the greenery as you chased the tiny creature.

Sam facepalmed, used to your puppy-like behavior that you often exhibited at Cobham. "She'll be back in a minute."

Tony chose that moment to turn around, scratching his head in confusion. "Where's Y/N?"

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"Hi love, have a good run?" Charli asked you, placing her head on your shoulder as you breathed heavily.

"No," you huffed. "That damn squirrel ran up a tree!"

Your teammates snickered, finding your ADHD ass incredibly funny.

"You've got it soo bad," Ellie snickered to Charli. "You're hopelessly in love with someone who's part dog!"

"Can you blame me?" Charli retaliated. "Y/N's just too cute, how could I not be?"

You beamed."Awwww, I love you too!"

Ellie made a fake gagging sound. "You two are shameless, you know that?"

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That was a truly awfully written fic, I apologize.  The words really did not flow out of my brain this time around 😅

I hope you enjoyed this fic anyways, thanks for reading!