A few weeks later, everyone at I.M.P and stolas found out about the Autobots and now things are starting to get more complicated around the base.
Miko: so, blitz, have you always been a hitman?
Blitz: no, not always. I was in the circus for a long time.
Miko: the circus?
Blitz: yeah, I was born to a family of circus clowns.
Ratchet: guess the circus was failing because none of the jokes you say are not funny.
Circuitjack: none of us get the comedy of Earth.
Bulkhead: that joke wasn't funny either.
Blitz: I'm gonna go get a beer.
After blitz left the room everyone else finally came back because none of them wanted to be around blitz.
Millie: I just don't understand why you guys don't like blitz, he's a nice guy.
Arcee: yeah, the person who makes sex jokes every ten seconds is a nice guy.
Ratchet: that's just gross.
Jack: yeah, I have to agree with Ratchet. I know.
The scene then cuts to a flashback with blitz and Jack.
Blitz: yeah, don't fuck this Sierra if she barely even knows who the fuck you are.
Jack: I just don't see the harm in bringing one little condom.
Blitz: and one little bottle of spermicidal lube?
Jack: yeah, one little bottle of spermicidal lube
Blitz: that's psycho shit. That's Jeffery Dahmer shit.
Jack: no, it's not.
Blitz: do you think Sierra's gonna be excited you bought a bottle of lube? "Oh, Jack, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would been able to handle your fucking 4 inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube."
Jack: Jesus!
Blitz: she's the fuckin' same age as you. She's not a dried up old lady. She's good to go.
Jack: fine, if it ever happens then I won't bring the lube.
The scene then cuts back to everyone staring at Jack being like what the fuck after hearing what Jack said.
Smokescreen: is it wrong for me to agree with blitz?
Moxxie: yes, it is.
Miko: I mean in case I have to agree with blitz. I mean, spermicidal lube? That's Michael Myers shit.
Jack: it's not crazy.
Caddy: it is when you literally replace the hom in homicide with the word sperm.
Circuitjack: I don't even know what any of those things are.
Bumblebee: no one knows what they are.
Stolas: oh my Satan.
Raf: has anyone seen Felicity.
Stolas: she must've overslept.
The scene then cuts to Felicity in her bed looking tired as hell while that one voice in everybody's head is saying....
Felicity: *internally* piece of shit. You stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit, so that at least makes me different from any other pieces of shit that don't know they're a piece of shit. Get the fuck out of bed. *gets out of bed* You piece of shit, go have lunch, you already missed breakfast.
YOU ARE READING
transformers prime helluva boss crossover (rewrite)
Fanfictionthis is a rewrite of my original crossover on my old account since my phone was broken so now I have to rewrite
