My precious flower

15|A new agreement

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I rushed into my house not caring what anyone around me thought of my urgency. The maids stared at me confused as I ran up the stairs with loud thumps. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my breath would frequently hitch as I tried to control my sobs. Once I reached my room, I ran in and shut the door tightly behind me with a loud bang. I leaned back against the door trying to control my breathing as I slid down to the floor until I was sitting. My mind raced at the thought of what would happen now. Three years of my life were wasted worrying about this relationship and now... this couldn't be happening.

I sobbed silently for a while trying to make as less noise as possible since I didn't want to worry my family. All sorts of emotions crossed my mind but the most prominent was anger and fear. A short while later,  there was a sudden knock at the door and my heart skipped a beat. Who was that? Was it Arsalan? No no. I jumped up to my feet and moved away from the door while looking at it.

"It's Ammi, beta" I heard Ammi's voice as she turned the door knob and pushed the door open only to meet my teary red eyes. Her soft smile suddenly vanished and worry replaced it. She walked up to me and  traced her hands from my shoulders to my wrists. 

"What happened Isbah?" She asked in the most concerned manner while holding on to my wrists caringly.

I took in a deep breath and gulped, "It...It's him... I..It's A..Arsalan" I said breaking down into more sobs. My Ammi looked at me confused while trying to comfort me.

"But why are you crying?" My Ammi asked still not understanding and I suddenly realized what I had said. She didn't know that I was still unhappy with this relationship and I couldn't break this to her now. I just leaned my head against her shoulder and let the final tears drop as she rubbed my back gently for comfort. Once I had gathered myself a bit, I looked up at Ammi and gave her a very weak smile.

"I am ok Ammi, I.. I just need some time to myself please" I said but that didn't seem to convince her

"Tell me Isbah, what happened?" she said a little sternly with the persistent worried look

"Nothing. I just saw A..Arsalan and was a little shocked. I am ok. I just need some time to think" I said trying to change the topic and she gave me a serious glare but then her expressions softened.

"OK. But you must tell me if anything bothers you. I will find out even if you don't tell me" She instructed and I nodded. She then gave me a final smile and hesitantly left the room.

---

It was night now and I had just been called down for dinner. My windows open to let in the cool night air. I felt much better now but my heart was still on edge and scared. I didn't want to face anyone but I couldn't just do that so I compiled myself to go downstairs. I straightened out my dress, wrapped my scarf around my neck and wiped away any tears. I then left my room and walked down the stairs quietly. I could hear a lot of chatter coming from the dining hall which seemed unusual for our normal dinner. 

I slowly walked there trying to be as silent as possible to avoid any attention. As I reached the entering frame of the dining hall, my eyes caught a familiar pair of green orbs near the seating area which stared back at me. My heart dropped and my eyes widened as I saw Arsalan sitting there with the Governor and my family. Everyone had wide smiles as they talked to one another while my lips had dropped into a frown. Without thinking, I quickly turned around before anyone else could spot me and ran back up the stairs to my room. I shut the door trying to make the least amount of sound possible and went straight to my bed while trying to calm myself.

"This isn't happening! This isn't happening" I kept whispering over an over to myself as if trying to convince myself that this was all my imagination. Why was he at my house? Why doesn't he just leave my life forever!