F̶o̶r̶b̶i̶d̶d̶e̶n̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶

12.

Gemini

I felt really upset when I left Fourth at the hospital. After he spoke with the doctor, I really wanted him to share what was going on, but he didn't seem to think it was important for me to know. He told me it would be better if I just went home and that he could handle everything himself. I didn't want to leave him alone; I wanted to stay and support him, but he just gave me this look that made it clear he was annoyed and that I should back off. It was pretty clear he didn't want another argument, especially not in a hospital. So, I left.

On my drive home, I called and talked to Phuwin about everything that had happened today. When I finally reached home, Phuwin asked, "How are things with Fourth?" I didn't want to talk about it—I was still processing and a bit mad, honestly. But Phuwin wouldn't drop it, so I ended up telling him about the tough conversation I had with Fourth that day.

As I shared the details with Phuwin, it made me realize how strained things had become with Fourth. I get that he might need space, but it's hard not to feel shut out, especially when you want to be there for someone. Phuwin listened and tried to offer advice, but honestly, it just made me feel more isolated. I mean, should I give him the space he seems to want, or should I try to reach out again? It's like, no matter what I do, I might end up making things worse.

Waking up to that phone call from Lek really threw me off. He's that type of "friend" who knows exactly how to press my buttons—using threats involving my mom just to get me to show up at his events. He claims these gatherings will boost my company's profile, but honestly, I have my doubts. The last disagreement I had with my mom over something similar ended terribly; she has this habit of making drastic decisions that hurt our business whenever things don't go her way.
Growing up with my mom was like bring in a never-ending comepetition, trying to meet her sky-high expectations. It felt like everything I did had to be perfect, and if it wasn't, well, let's just say there were consequences. But as a kid, I didn't know any better. I just wanted her love and approval, so I did whatever it took to try and make her happy.

Things really hit a breaking point in my last year of high school. The pressure became unbearable, and the only escape I found was in Fourth. It wasn't anything intentional; it was just a way to escape the madness at home, to find some kind of relief from the constant stress, even if it meant doing things without thinking.
But even that wasn't enough to shield me from my parents' messy divorce. It hit me harder than I ever expected.

Moving back in with my mom after my dad passed away was like stepping back into a nightmare. At first, it was almost nice, like maybe things would be different this time. But it didn't take long for her to revert back to her old ways—mean, distant, and cold. She blamed me for everything, from dad's death to just about anything else that went wrong. It was like I could never do anything right in her eyes, no matter how hard I tried.

And that's where this whole strict, expressionless facade comes from. I learned it from my dad, a way to shield myself from the constant barrage of criticism and blame. It's like I'm trapped in this cycle of trying to prove myself, trying to earn the love and acceptance I never got as a kid. But deep down, I know it's a battle I'll never truly win.

Lek's call was too cheerful for the early morning, and I was barely awake to make sense of everything he was rambling about, especially before I'd had my coffee. But I caught the important part: he wants me to be at his event tomorrow at 8 PM sharp, and he's expecting me to bring my new secretary along. He even made a remark about her possibly being "the one" for him, which was just typical Lek, always mixing business with personal interests in ways he shouldn't.

Hanging up the phone, I just stood there, blinking a few times, trying to process what just happened and figure out what I should do next. Bringing Fourth into Lek's sights could complicate things, but dodging that stupid event might provoke my mom, leading to another mess at the company.

The situation with Fourth is like a tangled mess, and I'm not sure if dragging him to this event is the right thing. I mean, it's already complicated between us, and I don't want to push it. But then there's this jealousy bubbling up inside me, and I hate it. He's with his husband at the hospital, dealing with serious stuff, and here I am, all tangled up in these feelings.

After completing my morning routine and enjoying a quick run, I settled down to catch up on a movie I'd been eager to watch. However, as I reached for the remote, I stared at my phone, wondering if I should call and announce it now or later. But the next thing I knew, my phone was ringing, my heart raced faster, a mix of anticipation and nervousness building inside me..

As he answered the phone, he greeted me. ''Hey, ...Gemini...'' His voice weak.

''Hey, I need to talk to you about something important. There's this event coming up, and it's crucial for both of us to attend. Given your role as my secretary, your presence there is not just important, it's necessary.''

He hummed, ''Yeah, yeah... I understand. I'll... get ready...''

A tingle of worry took over me, but ended up shaking my head, ''Good. Be ready by 8 p.m. I'll pick you up. Give me your address so I can pick you up.''

''...Okay...Okay.'' Fourth said weakly before ending the call.