Janus sanders angst+fluff oneshots

Janus's atempt.

Trigger warnings:
Thought of self termination, self harm, drinking, getting drunk, partly unsympathetic sides, things like this.
Have tissues nearby.

Janus sighed into the wisky bottle he was drinking. He smiled at what he was planning to do. It took him so long. So long to plan, to make sure his death didn't affect Thomas. So long to plan how he would fade from existence.

Janus had been alone in the darkside of the mind for a while. Both Remus and virgil had been accepted and Janus was hated by almost everyone. ....even Thomas hated him.

He stood up from the floor, hugging the wisky bottle to his chest as he walked to his room, sitting at his desk chair once he got there and happily crying as he opened his computer and pressed the record button

"I'm doing it. I got the pills I've been working on and I'm going to let myself slowly fade. I've been talking about how I can't just kill myself since that would fuck up thomas's self preservation and ability to lie. I've been working on this plan for months And I'm finally able to do it!"
He smiled as he took another swig from his bottle of wisky and sighed

"I've been making these videos to keep me sane and to document how I made these pills, but I want to explain them one more time before I take them and start to die and fade." He held the bottle of pills in his hand, looking at them like they were the light in his very dark life .

"So they're basically sleeping pills. They'll put me to sleep and then send my thoughts to the subconscious... ittle feel like I'm floating. ...at least that's what the mindscape test run felt like..." he sighed and smiled
"My body will stay in my room. Ittle take at least a week for my body to start to die and fade, and even more to finish... it should take me about a month I think.... And that will give the mindscape enough time to basically shatter me so the other sides can take on my role."

"Patton would probably be self preservation... or logan would. I'm assuming deception would just be..... gone... since none of the sides really fit that role. But it would kinda just fade into each of them, so, it wouldn't actually be gone. But I will be."

He smiled again as he wiped a happy tear "I've been thinking about this for a year..... 365 days.... More actually..... but... 365 days.... I've been working on finding a way to not hurt Thomas when I kill myself. Or, really, make myself fade. .....and for once.. I'll finally do something right"

Janus turned off the video and sighed happily as he got out 7 pills "better safe then sorry." He put them in his mouth, took a swig of wisky, and swallowed them. He finished off the wisky and snapped himself into his softest shirt, then snapped on his sweatpants as he started walking to his bed.

He laid down as he smiled, getting under his weighted blanket and cuddling under his 3 giant fluffy blankets, taking his plush snake and cuddling it to his chest. He turned on his heat pad and wiped his teary eyes "goodnight Thomas. ....bye... don't miss me to much.."
He knew Thomas didn't like him. But he could pretend he would miss him. He could be selfish in his pretend play. He was dying after all. He could smile himself into his final sleep as he pretended the others were hugging him and waving him goodbye.

He was selfishness after all.

12 days later thomas summoned all of the sides.... He didn't feel right. He felt like there was a hole in his heart.... Something was wrong.

Logan, Roman, Patton, virgil, and Remus all popped up. ....he summoned everyone so.... "Where's Janus?"

The others looked around Confused.

Roman huffed and crossed his arms "why should we care? He's just a stupid snake that wants you to lie to everyone!"

Patton put a hand on Roman's arm "kiddo! That's not nice to say! He's.... Protecting Thomas! Or... trying to... in his own way.." Patton didn't like Janus. But he wasn't going to talk bad about him...