Olethros

fourteen - azriel

It's your fault.
Confess and receive punishment.
She felt the power of his anguish.

It was my fault. I'd helped her hide. I'd helped Freyja block her brother out and now he was on his knees on a pile of broken glass and wood as he let out the most horrifying sobs. If I let myself, I'd join him. I'd feel the guilt swallow me whole. I didn't, because as much as I loved Rhysand, I couldn't let his family destroy another female. I couldn't allow myself to let Freyja become a ghost of herself like Odessa. Her spirit was too wild to be tamed by a High Lord.

I heard glass shatter in the background of Rhysand's cries. A shadow fell over me and I didn't have to turn to know it was Cassian. He stood and watched with us. Mor slipped from my chest and shifted to Cassian, his arms wrapping around her in a way that made me sick.

Rhysand's forehead leaned against the debris. His shoulders shook but the sound lessened. I swallowed my guilt, already knowing I am not a decent male, and stepped forward. I kneeled in the glass, laying my hand on his shoulder. Rhysand shook against my touch.

"Rhys," I spoke, but I wasn't sure if the words passed my lips. My confession sat on the tip of my tongue, grinding against the backs of my teeth and trying to force its way through. He lifted his head, just enough that I saw the flash of rage, agony, and sorrow in his wet eyes. I was going to speak, but he rose and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. His face was buried in my neck, fists clutching the tunic I wore.

I couldn't break his heart further. I couldn't tell him that his sister was across the city. I should've, because he could've snapped my neck right there. Instead, I held my brother just as I held secrets from him; cradled in my arms and sick to my stomach.

I let my brother fall apart against me, holding him together when I didn't deserve it. Even when a small sound left him and his teeth sank into the flesh between my neck and shoulder to silence himself. I didn't flinch, I let him use me to quiet his emotions. Mother, I deserved the worst of deaths. I deserved for him to shred me apart and hang my torn body from the top of our mountain just to show everyone below what happened when he was crossed.

His teeth released me, his back straightening. I let my hold on him loosen as he leaned back. He was a mess. More of a mess than I'd seen of him since the war. We'd comforted each other back then before it all got too suffocating to even release. Now, those traumas were buried so deep in our bones, I wasn't sure we could ever let them out.

"We are going to the Moonstone Palace to speak with my father." Rhysand's voice was hoarse and broken. I gave him a nod, waiting for him to release my arms before I stood. His dark eyes turned to me, rimmed with red.

"Thank you, brother."

His voice felt like a dull blade in the back of my mind. I gave a single nod before he stood. I followed. Cassian and Mor had separated, both staring at him with blank looks as they awaited instruction. We were his army, yet I was the mole that hid away the only other blood he loved other than his mother. I needed to go to Windhaven.

"Go to the Moonstone Palace. My father will be waiting in his study," Rhys ordered. Mor gripped Cassian's arm and they were gone. I wanted to scream. Rhysand turned to me. My fingers aches to wipe to remaining tears on his cheeks. He did it instead, brushing the back of his hand over his face. And then he was gone.

I followed, stepping through the shadows into the corridor of the High Lord's wing. Nobody stopped to collect our small group. When I felt solid, they were already marching toward the massive doors. As I followed them in, I'd never been more grateful that I had long since learned how to shove my emotions away.

Alcaeus watched us all with a predatory gaze, as though if one of us twitched, he'd be tearing our throats out with his teeth. Rhysand took his place in the large winged seat across from him. Cassian and Mor stood on his right, I took his left.

"There have been no developments in our search," Rhysand spoke first. Alcaeus's gaze settled on him.

"I have searched every expanse. I have looked into every home in Windhaven, the Hewn City, and I have left it to you all to search Velaris. Your sister has not been found. These are the only places that she knows, so they are the only places she can get to on her own. Do we know of anyone she had possibly grown close enough to that would hide her away?"

I kept myself stoic, though I felt the bile climb my throat.

"No. You and Mother have done well with keeping her away from anyone that would assist her. I toyed with the idea of her possibly making it to another court on her own, seeing that she has studied the maps within your office. If she had a good idea of where a place was, even without being there before, she could winnow."

"I'd hope your sister would not be foolish enough to go to another court. I have word out to spies in each court, none have heard anything. While in Velaris, did you hear any talk about Freyja?"

This time, I answered. "I had my shadows on every street. There was no talk of your daughter. There hasn't been a sighting anywhere."

Alcaeus gaze shot to me. I hadn't lied. I had my shadows out just in case Freyja decided to wander and get herself noticed.

"Send your shadows to the Spring Court. Ensure she does not try to plea for a way out of this marriage. I have not made it known that she will be sent there, but I cannot guarantee the information hasn't gotten out."

His eyes narrowed on Rhysand. I slowed my breath, closing my eyes. I had yet to send my shadows so far. With a single command, felt them stretch out, and then the warmth of their absence filled me.

"It's done."

"Good. Rhysand, have you been able to reach her mentally?"

"I have not. Her shields are stronger than I'd ever felt them. I cannot get into her mind, and any word I've called to her has not been returned."

Alcaeus lifted his chin. "But you've been able to send word?"

"I believe so."

My eyes dropped to Rhysand's knee. It bounced so subtly, I wasn't sure anyone else would have noticed.

"If you can keep hold of the tether to her mind, she must still be in the Night Court. I have sent out Illyrian warriors to the mountains. They've sent word that she was not found within any cabins, including ours. I'll do what I can to reach her mind. I can at least get word to her. If she panics, she will make a mistake and be found."

They had checked the cabin. I clenched my jaw, straightening my back and meeting Alcaeus's eyes. I felt the sharp sting of him trying to climb into my mind, but I shut him out. Maybe he wasn't as strong as we'd thought. His lip curled as he glanced at each of us.

Rhysand rose from the chair, not bothering to bid his goodbyes before he winnowed. Mor and Cassian were gone before I could turn. My eyes met Alcaeus again.

"She will not escape this. The little bitch will be married off. I will let her have her fun, thinking she's winning, but I will drag her back by her hair and have her locked away with wards on that bedroom. Do not disappoint me, Azriel. You know what happens if you do."

I knew. As I stepped through the shadows, I didn't return to the House of Wind. I went for Freyja, because I knew he wouldn't stop, and I needed to get her out before she was caught.