❈ invisible string ― nikolai lantsov ❈

Nikolai

"Tell me about Ahmrat Jen," he said softly.

Yi went still, her eyes staying rooted on the lamp that cast her shadow against the wall. "It's beautiful there. They have gardens full of pink hydrangeas and roses." He saw the glimmer in her gaze and wished with everything in him that he could have been the one to instill it.

She turned to look at him, lips tilting into a gentle smile. "Some days I wished you were there to see them."

Nikolai felt the protection of indifference rise. "Don't feel too regretful. I've never had a taste for gardening."

Yi looked away. "Then I'm certain that's something you should search for in your future wife." Her eyes gleamed teasingly. "Perhaps she'll plant something in your honor."

Nikolai raised his eyebrows. "I'd rather not have a flower immortalize me. My face is much more pleasant to look at."

She let out a quiet laugh. "Goodnight, Nikolai."

He was sorry to see her go but couldn't find it in him to ask her to stay, not now, and maybe not ever. "Goodnight, Yi."

She left the lamp burning low.

Maybe she, too, understood his fear of the dark after the hell the two had been through.

---

NIKOLAI WOKE UP FEELING BETTER RESTED THAN HE HAD IN A WHILE.

Yi arrived minutes later, already completely put together. Her hair was half pinned up, a rose sitting in the twisted curls. Her form was swathed in an olive green dress that, in Nikolai's honest, amiable opinion, looked divine against her golden skin. A pearl necklace sat at her collarbone and he could tell by the lift of her chin and the way she carried herself that right now she was Yizhi Kir-Taban.

"You look splendid," he said, voice scratchy.

Yi's expression stayed unreadable. "I should certainly hope so," she whispered as she unlocked the chains from Nikolai's body. "My maids nearly cried upon the sight of my hair this morning."

Nikolai grinned. "I'm sure it was a marvelous sight."

Yi rolled her eyes as the shackles clicked and fell from Nikolai's ankles and wrists. "You don't mean that." He wanted to argue that he had, but stayed quiet as he sat up and rolled his neck out. "I'll wait in the sitting room."

Yi departed without another word.

Nikolai's routine was a practiced one. He finished in less than five minutes, and maybe it was just the demon in him that had made him so efficient. The more he stood around doing nothing, the worse he felt, and the more evident that darkness lurking within was. 

I am the monster and the monster is me.

He emerged from the bathroom and left his bedchambers, locking them behind him. It was an essential part of every morning, for if any servants happened to catch a glimpse of the contraption set up around his bed, he was certain the rumors would make him out to be a lot worse than just a bastard.

Nikolai sauntered into the sitting room where Yi sat. Somehow, she made lounging lazily look elegant as she ate a gilded bowl of yogurt and fresh fruits. Nikolai's tray was on the table before her, seasoned herring with a slice of lemon on the side.

He couldn't help but be reminded of the night Yi had come to his chambers long ago, that morning where they'd both awoken and eaten breakfast together. He pushed the thought away and took a bite of his herring, only for the two to be interrupted by the twins bursting into the room.

Yi immediately sat up straighter, armor sliding back into place like stones in concrete. "What's going on?" she asked, not wasting a moment.

"There's trouble with the pilgrims camped outside the city. The Apparat doesn't like anything this new cult has to say. He's called the Priestguards to lower town," Tamar said grimly.

Yi let out a small sigh, pushing herself to her feet with a quick sip of her tea. "Are our people in position?" Nikolai asked.

Tolya nodded. "We have Heartrenders in plain dress interspersed throughout the crowd and snipers in position along the walls and the nearest hillside. There's not much cover, though."

"You knew this was going to happen," Yi realized as she walked with Nikolai, following the twins through the corridors.

Nikolai nodded. "I had a feeling."

"It's far too early for this."

"I find that you and I are in agreement."

Yi sighed. "Why has the Apparat not been dealt with in the past three years?"

"Perhaps I simply wanted to know who to go to if I ever want to pray to Sankta Alina. I've heard it does wonders for the complexion," Nikolai mused.

"You're insufferable."

"So I've heard."

"From many, I suspect."

Nikolai clutched his chest as they reached the exit of the palace. "I'm heartbroken, Princess Yizhi Kir-Taban."

"Splendid," Yi said calmly, leaning in as though sharing a secret, "your acting skills have improved tremendously."

Nikolai grinned. "I thought so too." He turned to look at Tolya. "No uniformed soldiers will move past the lower wall without my say-so. The Grisha are only there for crowd control unless I give the signal. Keep the snipers in position but absolutely no one is to act without direct orders from me, understood?"

The twins nodded. 

Nikolai and Yi mounted and as they made their way towards the gates, Nikolai noticed the look on her face. "Saints, your glower is enough to kill a man, Yi."

Her eyes darkened. "Let us hope it does."

Nikolai raised his eyebrows. "Yi," he warned.

She looked over at him and the slant of her lids told him to shut up. "The Apparat manipulated Alina, held us underground like naked molerats for months, and aided the Darkling on multiple occasions. I suspect he hasn't aided you in any of the battles against Fjerda nor my country."

"You would make a marvelous detective," Nikolai said, unconcerned. "And while you're correct, he has control over the people and their faith. It wouldn't matter if my Aunt Ludmilla had sicced her hounds upon him, he would still find a way to survive."

Yi shrugged. "Let's not discount that idea yet." Underneath her indifference, he could sense her frustration. She clearly had a burning hatred for the priest, but he suspected it went deeper than just the battle with the Darkling.

"I need you looking calm, not as though you want to stab yourself in the eye, darling."

Yi shot him a disconcertingly intimidating glare, but what was more unnerving was how quickly her expression shifted into one of pleasantness bordering on content. Nikolai raised his eyebrows. 

Together, the two rode to lower town to deal with a half-insane priest with robes that smelled of a pig rolled in rotten cheese.