❈ invisible string ― nikolai lantsov ❈

Nikolai

As she entered, his eyes raked over her nightgown. She'd shed her satin robe, her bare, deeply bronzed arms on display, the shadows of her collarbone defined in the dim lighting of the lamp that sat on the nightstand. Nikolai barely managed to suppress a smile when his eyes landed on her curls, a complete mess of ringlets as it always used to be.

It seemed that hadn't changed, at least.

He felt his eyes linger for a moment too long on her form and knew she'd noted it, but they both said nothing. Yi's gaze strayed off to the iron fetters at the posts of his bed. Nikolai clamped the first two at his ankles, then the one at his left wrist.

He wanted to laugh when he saw Yi's expression. "You look like you've sat in a bowl of cold porridge."

She scowled, cheeks flushing slightly. "I didn't believe that it was this. . . extreme."

"We can certainly make a habit of you chaining me in at night if it pleases you to see me this way," Nikolai offered with a wink, although it was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want her to see a broken boy with a demon just barely contained in him.

I am the monster and the monster is me.

Yi pressed her lips together and for a moment he believe she was simply going to walk out, but instead she said, "It would make us even after the trick you played, Sturmhond."

Nikolai grinned, remembering the day he staged the revolt aboard the Darkling's ship. He'd chained her down to keep her quiet and thoroughly regretted it. He'd always suspected she'd held a grudge because of it, and as it turned out, he had been correct.

"Well then, by all means, go ahead." It felt wrong to joke so lightheartedly around Yi after what had happened moments before.

That was what he loved about her. It was always easy to talk about anything to her, no matter the odds or situation. But Nikolai knew that that wasn't love, it was their friendship. And she, as indicated minutes ago, evidently didn't see it as anything else.

Love, love was the way he'd stared at her a thousand times like she was the miracle, even as the world raged on around them and hundreds of Sun Summoners came to life. Love was the way he adored the little habits she had, the way she scrunched up her nose in annoyance or how her hair was always a mess and yet she always looked put together somehow.

Love was how he knew he would die for her even now if he had to.

Love was knowing he'd do it all, even if she was never his again.

Nikolai blinked away the thoughts as Yi pulled down on the lock David had rigged. The familiar buzz and whir filled the air moments before three chains were slung over Nikolai's body―knees, midriff, and shoulders. He forced himself to stay still despite everything in his nature rebelling against the feeling of them, offering his right wrist to Yi.

She studied him for a few long moments, cocking her head to one side. Nikolai was reminded of a deer, beautiful, inquisitive, and most of all, silent. 

"What do you see?" he whispered, holding her gaze. Her honey eyes glowed in the lamplight like bright citrine speckled with stars.

Yi turned her head away and he drank in the beauty of her profile, wondering how he'd ever let himself lose someone as her. Though it was shallow, Nikolai knew that none of the ladies in all of Ravka could ever compare to the one before him.

"I'm not sure yet," Yi admitted quietly. "But I'm hoping that you're who I think you are, Nikolai."

His name was like an oath from her lips. She clamped the last fetter at his wrist. Nikolai didn't want her to leave, not yet. Looking at her was like taking a swig of wine. Once he started, he didn't want to stop.